March 30, 2016

New York City Ballin', Or That Time Someone Stole My Credit Card

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I live in an area that one might refer to as:

Thus, I am able to provide you with lots of humorous anecdotes and stories about the hoodrat way of life. Like, for example, weave snatching fights.

Ratchets are ALWAYS pulling out weave.

No hate to my ratchets.
Your girl wears weave, too. #immabitratchet

March 28, 2016

Lifetime Movie Network Book Of Shadows: The Perfect Daughter

Friends, the Lifetime recapping gig is beginning to affect yours truly. After Saturday night's fucked up film mess of a movie, I needed a break to digest what came before my eyes.

I could not really describe it except:

Hot mess express really does not do this film justice.

The Saturday night debacle was titled:

And a conversation took place in my home sort of like this:

Military Husband: What's tonight's movie about?

Me: I don't know. A teen drinking and getting pregnant, I think.

Military Husband: ANOTHER TEEN IN PERIL!

Right. Except it was not. It was something entirely different. It was weird, made absolutely no sense and I "think" there was supposed to be some sort of lesson involved. All I know is that my brain has not been this fried since I watched Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle.

Legit, Leprechaun 2: Back 2 Tha Hood made more sense than this movie.

There was more depth in Arnold's horrific performance as Mr. Freeze in Batman Forever

It was just THAT bad.

March 27, 2016

Currently Giving Me All The Marvel Feels (Spring 2016)

It has been almost six months since I have written a post on the "feels" (you can read that post here: Currently Giving Me All The Marvel Feels (Fall 2015). You know, that which is giving me ALL the Marvel feels currently.

I know, I KNOW. 

Captain America would not be pleased.

March 23, 2016

Lifetime Movie Network Ever After: Mommy's Little Girl

After seeing a succession of Netflix Daredevil Season 2 recaps on my blog, you might have thought I forgot about Lifetime's Saturday Evening Shitshow Masterpiece. 

As a matter of fact, every single time Military Husband scrolled through our list of DVR recordings, it haunted me. It was staring at me like:

Right. Lifetime certainly does not forget me.

March 22, 2016

Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 13 Recap: A Cold Day In Hell's Kitchen

At the end of Episode 12, Elektra saved Stick, Nobu declared that Daredevil must be killed and The Punisher?

He found his arsenal! How fantastic all those military grade weapons were readily available for him. Now that the police assume Frank Castle is dead, The Punisher can begin his own journey as a Marvel anti-hero.

Friends, this is the last episode of the series. Are you ready to read the finale of Daredevil Season 2? 


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 12 Recap: The Dark At The End Of The Tunnel

As we closed Episode 11, Elektra was prepared to kill Stick. Frank Castle is dead. Or is he? If you have not seen a body, more likely than not, he is still alive. Besides, no one ever dies in comic books! They can ALWAYS return.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 11 Recap: .380

As we closed Episode 10, there are members of The Hand all over the outside of Metro-General. The survivors are now "The Walking Dead." This has really become strange and intriguing. Also, Frank Castle saved Karen from a hailstorm of gunfire. Will he ask her to help him?

Let's press on. There are only three episodes remaining in Season 2!


March 21, 2016

Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 10 Recap: The Man In The Box

When we left Episode 9, The Punisher has escaped from prison. Hooray! Have I told you all how much I love The Punisher, lately? I am legit ready to raid the Internet for the The Punisher gear. Are any of you as obsessed with him as I am? Let me know in the comments below!

For now, let's get started on Episode 10 because things in Hell's Kitchen are about to become strange.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 9 Recap: Seven Minutes In Heaven

When we left Episode 8, Castle was back in jail having a meeting with Kingpin, Wilson Fisk. What could Fisk possibly want from Castle? And maybe, just MAYBE, should we not put all these mastermind criminals and thugs in the same prison? I have always wondered that about comic books. Why is everyone in the same jail or mental institute? It just seems like a bad idea. Am I right?

And I am the ONLY one who wonders how Castle does not associate Murdock's voice with Daredevil? He seems like a perceptive man. Matter of fact, how does anyone not realize this? 

Le Sigh.

Well, let's see what Fisk is up to in Episode 9.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Guilty As Sin

When we left Episode 7, Daredevil and Elektra had found out what the Yakuza were hiding - a HUGE hole. Daredevil threw a flashlight into the hole to see how deep it was and it still had not hit the bottom.

A semi-spoiler and exciting news: Vincent D'Onofrio is returning this episode. Yes, Wilson Fisk, Kingpin, is back!

Let's see what role he exactly plays in this season as we begin Episode 8.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: Semper Fidelis

Closing Episode 6, we are left with Frank Castle headed to the trial of the century. Murdock is busy helping Elektra fight the Yakuza who seem to have mysterious plans for the city in the works. Yours truly is just thrilled The Punisher has returned. Without him in an episode, the series is really lacking! 

Episode 7 is simply called "Semper Fidelis" and, when Military Husband saw the title, he wanted me to write:

"Shoutout to Military Husband!"

So there. The things you do for love, right? Let's get started.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Regrets Only

When we left Episode 5, Daredevil and Elektra were preparing to take on the Yakuza. Despite my thoughts about the last episode, I must say the dynamic of Daredevil-Elektra is a hell of an improvement from that Ben Affleck-Jennifer Garner debacle. I mean, Elodie Young is just SO much better as Elektra than Garner. You know if Garner has seen this, she is somewhere like:

Like really tho. I hope she fired her agent from back then.

Let's press on because Episode 6 is one of Bernthal's hands down BEST of this series. 

Yes friends, The Punisher has returned.


March 20, 2016

Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Kinbaku

When we left Episode 4, we were introduced to Elektra Natchios.

That's right. We are getting two major Marvel comics players in Daredevil Season 2. 

What did I first notice about this interpretation of Elektra? She is British (Except, not really. Elodie Yung is French and using a British accent. At times, this accent becomes warbled and she is difficult, at best, to understand. At least she was for recapping purposes.). If you follow my blog regularly, you know Military Husband is an entertainment Brit-a-phobe. He really does not care for the British accent on television shows and movies. I am completely different. I love and adore Alfred Hitchcock, Agent Carter, Idris Elba, the list goes on. 

Even part of my family is British. What up Swanage, Dorset!

But truly, I digress.


March 19, 2016

Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Penny and Dime

As we closed Episode 3, Grotto is dead, The Punisher is on the loose again and Karen has shown us our first glimpse at the well known symbol of The Punisher. In Episode 4, we will see more of Bernthal's brilliant portrayal of The Punisher and establish a bit more of his backstory.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: New York's Finest

As we closed Episode 2, Daredevil and The Punisher disappeared. In Episode 3, we really get our first taste of Jon Bernthal's The Punisher. I will talk more as I recap the episode, but Bernthal is truly fantastic in this role and a powerhouse in the series. Doug Petrie and Marco Ramirez, who both worked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sons of Anarchy, may have written this gritty, dark version of The Punisher, but it is Bernthal that brings it to life.


Netflix Daredevil Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: Dogs To A Gunfight

When we left Episode 1: Bang, Daredevil learned that it was only one man, not an army, causing havoc in Hell's Kitchen. Folks, we are about to meet that man for the first time.


March 18, 2016

Netflix Daredevil Season 2 Intro & Episode 1 Recap: Bang

Finally, the long awaited Daredevil Season 2 has arrived on Netflix. Last year, I was impressed by Season 1 and Charlie Cox's portrayal of Matt Murdock, the lawyer with an alter crime fighting ego, Daredevil. By far, this is my favorite Marvel series deserving of much more praise than it receives. If you have not yet had an opportunity to watch Season 1, I highly recommend you do immediately. There is more of a dark, graphic novel quality that appeals to the adult viewer who may not be a fan of the more PG/PG-13 Marvel television series.

Basically, this ain't the wholesome goodness of Agent Carter, friends.

Netflix Marvel is all about explicit language and violence.

Thus, I begin my episodic recap and review of Season 2. As you may remember, last fall, I did a complete recap of all episodes of Netflix's Jessica Jones. These will be written in the same format and available in the Marvel Forever section of the blog. The first episode will be the ONLY recap without reference to major spoilers. While there will be some mild ones, I will not reveal the ending for those of you who would like to watch the entire series.


March 15, 2016

Rat Boy The Cookie Douche, Or The Ratchet Mall Strikes Back!

You might remember back in the summer I wrote a post on The Ratchet Mall. Friends, I am fairly certain that my snark about said mall has cursed me. I am being punished for gawking at hoodrats and laughing at people who purchase glow in the dark blowup dolls at Spencer's.

This is what I get for being so judgmental.

March 13, 2016

Lifetime Movie Network The Quest For Peace: The Stepchild

On Saturday night, Military Husband and I went out to run errands. When we returned, I grabbed my MacBook and this conversation took place:

Military Husband: OH GOD. NO. It's Saturday.

Me: Well, yeah. Duh.

Military Husband:

March 10, 2016

Rant: Quit Telling Us How To Blog

Now, you all know I am normally a positive person. But, BUT, today, I have a tiny bit of a rant. Well, I am not really angry or upset.

I am just Le Sigh to the 200th power:

My ratchet side is about to come out and play.

March 8, 2016

How To Cook The Easiest Dinner Ever

When your children return from school, do you hear the non-stop lull of:

"Mom, I'm hungry."
"We are starving!"

When your husband walks through the door, are you often greeted with:

"What's for dinner?"


When you hear these phrases, do you feel like this:

I mean, really.
Don't they know you were in the middle of napping/reading/binge watching?

March 6, 2016

Lifetime Movie Network Island Of Lost Dreams: Nightmare Nurse

On Saturday, Military Husband and I planned to party, and by party I mean finish House of Cards Season 4. Let's put it this way, I planned to finish the series. Military Husband had a different idea.

Military Husband: Why don't you watch your show then we can watch House of Cards tomorrow uninterrupted.


Military Husband: Go on, get it over with. I'm trying to help you!

Me: Le Sigh.

Folks, the party came to a screeching halt when this came on my television screen:

Oh look, it is Lifetime's OG plot device - crazy bitch. 

March 4, 2016

5 Reasons I Love Being A Military Spouse

Today's post is all about Military Husband. You see, I love being his wife. I know, I KNOW, insert your pukes and barfs here, but we really do have an incredible marriage. Part of that marriage is understanding that his first priority must always be the military. And friends, I love being a military spouse. It brings our family many awesome advantages and blessings. 

However, if I were being perfectly honest, I would love being married to Military Husband if he collected trash for a living, or if he was the person who had to toss out the wax strips after a Brazilian wax. As an aside, is there a name for that? Hazardous wax strip handling? 

All I know is, hair is gross. I cannot even with hair.

Disclaimer: If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I tell it like it is and do not sugarcoat my feelings. If you are the type to get butt hurt, you might want to mosey along little cowgirl or cowboy. If you not, then hi, I love you, can we be besties? 

March 1, 2016

Agent Carter Season 2, Episode 10 Recap: Hollywood Ending

As we closed Episode 9, Dr. Wilkes interrupted Whitney Frost/Madame Masque's plans to kill Vernon Masters - by suddenly exploding into zero matter! Now, Agent Carter must stop zero matter for good as we move into tonight's season finale.

I would like to thank all of you who enjoyed these recaps and watched Agent Carter along with me this season. If you are new to my blog and just joining, welcome and I hope you will follow! I always welcome comments, insight and suggestions for future posts and recaps/reviews.

Don't forget - I will be back to recap Daredevil Season 2 after March 18th.

Now, let's press on because there is so much to cover tonight!