October 18, 2016

Mili Wifey's Ratchet Life Lately



I thought I would do one of those "Currently" or "Life Lately" posts. Normally, I find them as dull as a marathon of Two Broke Girls. As an aside, how the hell is this show still on television? Cancel this show! It is shit on a shingle, legit. You wanna tell me Agent Carter was cancelled, but we still are gonna air Two Broke Girls

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY??

But truly, I digress.

Anyhoo, even though these "Life Updates Of A Blogger" are kind of lame and narcissistic, surely I could spice it up a bit for your enjoyment. After all, I am not exactly normal.

Or full of couth and tact. Pretty much, it is like:


Every single time I arrive. 

Thus, I will try to keep this entertaining. You can tell me if you want more updates from my terribly mundane, but often hoodrat life.

Here is my Ratchet Life Lately.

Reading

The back of a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. 170 calories per serving seems healthy enough. But, BUT, I am thinking I get a "little" more than 170 calories because this is pretty much me eating a bowl:


Because that is what the big ass Tupperware bowls are there for, right? #oramIright

I also enjoy reading menus for restaurants, fast food chains, etc. so I can plot out what I plan to order from said establishment in the future. Surely I am not the only person who does this? 

As for books, oh yeah, I have not read any of those in awhile. I am just allowing my brain to turn into complete mush. One day, it will slide out of my ear and slime its way across the floor, leaving my body forever with a "Wow, you are a one huge disappointment, bitch" on the way out the door. 

THIS is the way to really put to use your $200,000 college education, Mili Wifey.

Listening To

T Pain's "Booty Wurk." 

Did any of you ever purchase one of these?


Autotune for dayssssssssssssssss. Whoever invented this (T Pain, we assume) is ratchet and ridiculous. And astoundingly awesome.

Watching

Roaches invade our home. Let's just say our neighbors are not the cleanest piggys in the sty. And, as a delightful treat, they recently had their home sprayed by a professional. Their roaches packed their bags and moved over to Casa De Mili Wifey pronto.

These little dudes are Illumanti Roaches, too. I killed one last night by wacking it to death with a mop and sweeping it out of garage.

Guess who I saw this morning, just kicking it outside our house?


Le Sigh.

Oh! If you mean what I am watching on television, well, I am currently enjoying HBO's Westworld. Basically, it is like if Rockstar Games created a virtual Red Dead Redemption theme park with AIs. Westworld is absolutely fascinating and if you are a HUGE nerd like me, you need to begin watching this series today.


HBO spared no cost on this series. You should check out their "game site" created to hype up the show.


You're welcome.

Drinking

Normally, I would revel in telling you all that I am blowing all our money on boxed wine and scratch off lottery tickets. However, this month, I am, well, I am still drinking cheap wine.

And my friends, I have found cheap wine that does not taste like licking the bottom of an ashtray. You know what I am talking about? When you drink a wine and it tastes like PawPaw's cigar ashes? Basically, it tastes like booty.

But, not this:


The Little Penguin Cabernet Sauvignon retails for $4.99 at our grocery store and it is DELICIOUS. It is a robust wine with a little bit of fragrance. I am obsessed, especially at that price. 

Budget friendly, tasty wine? Why yes, yes you do. Pick some up today!

Wishing

We were already moved and settled in our new home. 

Which is:

Can't wait to meet you.
#thankyoumilitarylife

We should be there in December and I am stoked for our little family. Boston, here comes a ratchet Southern girl to invade your space. I hope you are ready.

And that is Mili Wifey's Rachet Life Lately.

What have you been doing lately? Let me know something you are watching, listening to or drinking/eating in the comments currently!

Just living that thug life, I am,

53 comments:

  1. The Little Penguin wine is good, much better than the bottle of WhiteTrashfindel I got for $5 at the grocers last week. I like Boston, my daughter went to Boston University and there are a lot of good places to eat AND drink around there. Cheers!

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  2. Momma luvs Westworld.

    And she also says to go to Legal Sea Foods in Boston.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yay!! Me too! So glad to find another fan!
      Thank you! I need your mommys recommendations!! Xxoo

      Delete
  3. Currently looking for something to read...preferably a book :) I'm noting The Little Penguin wine. I also like Oak Leaf which Walmart carries. That is about as cheap as it gets. But still pretty good.

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    Replies
    1. I really need to read!
      The Little Penguin is WAY better than Oak Leaf girl!! Xxoo

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  4. Hahaha the T-Pain microphone is brilliant!!!! I love it.

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    1. Right? I have one that is Elf Yourself and it turns your voice into an Elf voice. Lol all fun and games until my dad got sick of me announcing all the gifts in an elf voice.

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  5. As a die hard Jersey girl living in California...I have to say I'm totally jelly about your move to Boston!!

    At this minute...watching Cabin in the Woods again, because Joss Whedon ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Well that's where MH is from! Born and raised in Jersey!
      Love that movie!

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  6. I WISH we could get $4.99 bottles of wine here. Girl, I'd totally be drinking it up all day if we did. That's prolly a good thing then that a drinkable bottle will set me back at least $20. I think I need to move back to Europe/US just for good, cheap vino!! I'm going broke down here!

    Ooh, I need to listen to this T-Pain song already. Ok, I'm gonna make everyone in my office listen to it!!

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    Replies
    1. Lol! It's the best!! Cheap wine for daysssss
      Oh good, the whole office can twerk. Left cheek right cheek...

      Delete
  7. I wish roaches would go extinct

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    Replies
    1. You and me both! But they are prehistoric......

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  8. $200,000?!?!?!?!?! Am I reading that right?!!?!

    Also roaches suck. This post rocked. I'm jealous you are moving to Boston. I've always wanted to visit there, let alone LIVE there.

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    1. I'm not sure exactly, but law school was right around $67k (just for school...some, not all, of my books, and not including my housing or bar admission fees lol). And my undergrad and grad school I assume would be around that with books and all (my parents paid for that). This is why I didn't have a big wedding (we paid for it)! I wouldn't dare make my parents pay for that after all they've done for me. I'm very blessed to have them and for all they've done.

      Please do come visit us!! Seriously, if you ever make it our way, we'd be happy to host you for a fun outing!! :) xxoo

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  9. Anyone who can drink a $4.99 wine is a hero. I cannot do it the cheaper the wine the worse the migraine for me - effing sulfites. You crack me up, girl from the start to the finish. I love how you said these are narcissistic posts and then you jump in!!!! Rolling! T PAIN FOR LIFE! Sign me up for a Boston visit :) See ya on SnapChat baby doll! xoxoxox

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    Replies
    1. Yay I can't wait to see you!! We actually just got news this morning we are leaving sooner than we thought. Love ya!!!!!

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  10. I love me any red wine. Okay, maybe not any. But now I'm drooling, so thanks for that. I love reading cereal boxes, especially CTT. In french. Because everything is bilingual here.

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    1. I love that!! Because you know French was my minor in college!!

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  11. I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

    I've heard about Westworld but we don't have HBO.

    I'd love to go to Boston! All the fabulous history! Yes! My mom was stationed at Hanscom and I got to explore it only briefly.

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  12. OUr mom does the online menu thing. especially since our town has gotten a lot of new restaurants.
    She wants to check out the menu to decide if it is worth trying out
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  13. I love your catch-up with MiliWife Life updates! We will check out this wine. ☺ We haven't announced it officially, but we are planning our move from the Bayou state to Washington state! Super scared and excited. Boston should be amazing! ♥

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    1. Holy crap! When?? Email me the details soon!!

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  14. I too am enjoying Westworld, I loved the 70s movie but this has so much more depth and quality. Definitely a keeper.

    Boston sounds nice. My only experience with your Boston is Cheers and Spenser For Hire.

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  15. My husband wants to check out Westworld, maybe this weekend. We got a year of HBO for free for a year, might as well use it ;)

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    1. Hell yes!! We got it free for awhile and I was going to cancel, but they dropped the price way down for us.
      Def watch!!

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  16. I love these kinds of posts, so keep them coming! My dad not only ate huge bowls of cereal, he also put cream on top, instead of milk. We're loving Westworld over here.

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    1. Oh yay!! More fans!
      Cream...that is genius.

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  17. I'm so excited to hear about your Boston adventures, I hope you love it!

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    Http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

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    1. Thanks girl I'm so excited to meet your little baby!! Xxoo

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  18. Boston!?!? Wow, that's exciting! Hope your PCS goes smoothly!
    KZK

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  19. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh You are moving to Boston. That will be exciting. You must be able to pack a house with your eyes closed. MOL
    Not much new here except last Friday the very last item on the 2 1/2 month renovation was completed no more strangers in my house.
    Of course you read about mom's new bridge...the thang cost as much as a small used car. MOL
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    Replies
    1. I know!! My root canal was SO expensive!!!

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  20. I'm one of those Moscato wine people. You know...sparkling grape juice that makes you feel good! I get it by the box. Yep, classy, I know! But if you like cinnamon toast crunch, have you tried Rum Chata? That's what it tastes like. It's the best thing to spike your eggnog with in December! It also tastes good with diet Coke (because, why not save calories?!). It just does this weird curdling thing where your glass gets messy but it tastes like a Coke float with a cinnamon toast crunch kick!

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    Replies
    1. Your post inspired me to find an answer. Apparently A&W root beer doesn't make Rum Chata curdle and it's yummy. So I'm going to try the diet version of that!

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    2. That sounds amazing!! My go to booze is white chocolate martinis. The best!

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  21. I totally agree about Two Broke Girls. WTH is it still on...cue eye roll.

    I eat my cereal in a similar fashion. Who really only eats a cup of cereal....LOL Will have to see if our grocery has that wine.

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    Replies
    1. Omg seriously. That show is garbage!
      I hope you find the wine love!!

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  22. Wish you all the best with your move!

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  23. Good luck on your move. I have friends in Boston, if you ever need ideas for places to go and things to do. :)
    My husband likes Westworld. I gave up after one episode. I am loving This is Us, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Goldbergs, and all my other usual shows.
    The roach thing reminded me of Family Guy when Brian stays at a seedy apartment and there are roaches in the bathroom and the landlord says "I blame the schools." That was back when FG was funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOed0qAt-fg

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  24. Ohhh. Hello little penguin! I'll be on the lookout! It's almost refreshing to not have someone recommend moscato.

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    1. Yeah I'd normally recommend vodka.....lol.

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