October 27, 2016

Meetup.com In My Hood



As you all know by now, Military Husband, #MaddiethePug, BabyBelle Pug and I are moving to Boston. Recently, I had a conversation with my friend Julie at Jewels Wandering that went like so:

Mili Wifey: So yeah, I am going to know NO ONE in Boston. I mean, aside from Military Husband. But, BUT, no one else. It is just ME. Ridin' solo, ridin' solo, as Jason Derulo sings.

Julie: You should check out Meetup.com when you are in Boston!


Mili Wifey: Right. I think I have heard of that before. We do not have that here in my city. This is Ratchetopia. Hoodrat Central.

No meetups here except meet up at the corner for hos and dime bags.

They start em young here in Ratchet City.

Julie: Um. Meetup.com is EVERYWHERE.

Me: Really? Let me check out my hometown on this site.

**Heads to computer to search Meetup.com**

Me: Oh. My. Gah.


Julie was correct. There were a few meetups in my city. And oh, what a delightful treat those were to discover. Since you know me, I am a giver by nature, I thought I would share a few of the meetups in my area. 

Here is Meetup.com In My Hood

The Sub Meetup

Sounds harmless. This probably is a meetup of people who really enjoy substitute teaching. Or perhaps some people who are addicted to Subway sandwiches.

I could get down with a Subway meetup. Those white chocolate macadamia nut cookies at Subway are made with crack.


Yeah, NO. This meant none of those things. What they mean is submissives. As in bondage, whips, chains and Fifty Shades of Dirty Dungeons submissive.


The group meets at a variety of places like a local Tex-Mex restaurant. Now, I have to wonder when the ballgag gets whipped out. I mean, do you pull out a riding crop before or after they make the tableside guacamole?

Flogging and Fajitas, anyone?

Editor's Note: If you are curious as to how I know this BDSM language, well, I worked divorce law for 13 years. And divorce clients love to tell you everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING, even if it has no merit to their case. I have heard and seen some things, man.

Psycho-Emo-Body-Healing Meetup

The description of this meetup is as follows:

We enjoy crystals and crystal healing, massages, rubbing, sniffing and touching each other. We want you to join us to learn the benefits of our special family.

Your expectation of how the people in this meetup might look:


Reality? And I mean, actual reality, as in the group members had pictures:


If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times - those Hills Have Eyes types are sneaky (and they really enjoy eating mayonnaise out of the jar and drinking Natural Light by the keg). This "Psycho-Emo-Body-Healing Meetup" is just a rouse to lure in hapless, innocent youth to their Dungeons of Redneck Doom.

I am on to you, Leatherface and the Gang. Nice try.

I NEED MODELS MEETUP

The title alone screams creeper.


This meetup involves one dude and he needs models. BAD. The description is as follows:

ARE YOU A MODEL? I NEED YOU. PREFER FOOT FETISH MODELS, FOOD FETISH MODELS, ALL NUDES MODELS, PANTY MODELS, BREAST MODELS, SEXY THICK BOOTY MODELS. WILL MEET YOU AT YOUR CHOSEN LOCATION. SRRY CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY YOU BUT YOU WILL GET XXXPOSURE!!!!!

MENS AND WOMEN CAN JOIN.


Nudist Meetup

As you can guess by the title alone, this is a group of nudists. After I read the description, there was a lengthy FAQ.

Here is a sample of the questions:

FAQ : Are you a swingers meetup?

Answer: No, we are not a sexual meetup. However, we are not opposed to any sexual activity at our meetup. It must be consensual though.

Um......


Either you are an orgy or you aren't.
There is no middle of the road here.

FAQ: Do you have to be young and in great shape?

Answer: NO! Many of our members are older and have normal body types. We embrace all bodies and love all shapes and sizes.

Oh great. I know what that means:


So much NO.

Wiccan Wannabe Meetup

They want to be witches, cast spells, heal with crystals and especially, GET NUDE! Why in the everlasting gobstopper is everyone in my city getting nude all the time? It is an epidemic.

Wiccan Wannabe Nekeds Meetup?


I do not need friends that bad.

Thugs and Playas Meetup

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. #thuglife

Our whole family, including #MaddiethePug, should join this meetup.


Though, I have to question this meetup's "thugosity" because the next gathering was being held at 7pm at the local Outback Steakhouse.

Bloomin' Onion for dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.



Word to your Alice Springs Chicken.

With all these fabulous meetups, I could kick myself for being so bored in my hometown. I mean, I guess there is always still time to join before we leave.

Yeah.


Have you ever checked out Meetup.com? What kinds of meetups are in your city? Have you ever gone to a meetup? Let me know in the comments below!

Meetup.com in my city is all kinds of wrong because I am,






52 comments:

  1. I was briefly part of a playgroup that arranged their gatherings through meetup. I am not sure if I will ever use the app again. People be cray and untrustworthy!

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    1. I know! At least there was a playgroup...I didn't see anything like that here. All weirdos! Lol

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  2. BOL!!!! OMD, those are some REALLY strange ones.....ya think Boston will be better??? I don't even WANT to know the 'meet ups' that would happen here, and Ma is like super duper paranoid abouts things like that....she pictures serial killers lickin' their chops at apps like that! (yeah, she watches WAY too much Discovery ID!! ☺)
    Maybe there are Pug meet ups! That could be cool...dog peeps are usually more sane that other peeps....okays, except Ma...and you..and....oh, nevermind.
    Good luck with that! ♥
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  3. Sweet Baby Jesus! I HAVE to check out what kind of creepos we have in my area. That is beyond everything.

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  4. So.. I was actually wondering how you knew all of that language. Thanks for clarifying!! LMAO!

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  5. Our COs wife actually recommended Meetup to help find same interest people. The one I attended is a group that goes out and does fun stuff in the community. Dinners out, concerts, kayaking, etc. My group is mostly older (60+) but they are really nice and active. They keep their clothes on :) The meet ups around here are either active or fitness. They seem rather tame.

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  6. Intriguing....I don't know if I could do it- the thought of meeting strangers freaks me out.

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  7. Ummmm....as a gal living in the Emerald Triangle, I just say no to anything like this...I can only imaging the "fun" people I could meet!!
    Great post, thanks for the morning belly laugh!!

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  8. Haha. I did moms groups through meet up and now I am in a volunteer group!

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  9. Haha this is really interesting!

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  10. Just remember khakis really means car keys over there

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  11. I'd do a nudist meetup!

    Kidding.

    I haven't checked out Meetup.com. I think I'm too much of an introvert.

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    Replies
    1. Lmaoooo.
      I'm the same girl! I wish we lived closer!!

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    2. Same here!!

      And thank you for the kind comment on my blog and the one you left on the guest post :)

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  12. I've never heard of Meetup.com. Sounds pretty freaky......no thanks!!

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  13. We have Meetup.com in my area, but I've never looked at it. Now I'm super intrigued. People are SOOOOO weird.

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  14. Girl, you know you want to go to the nudist meet up it's ok...just be honest. Hahahahaha! Jk! Crazy!

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    Http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

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  15. Hahaha! Meetup came along at the end of my single days (post-first marriage ending). I would have MUCH preferred that to online dating in the early days after my divorce. I just wanted to get out and meet people. There are a TON of meetups here in Nashville for moms...in Boston it will be even bigger. The big cities have freakin' everything. You can have every type of food you want delivered, every new cool tech thing like grocery delivery, dry cleaning pickup and delivery, etc. And as a freelance writer, the opportunities are huge! Freelancewritinggigs.com lists writing jobs every day and there are often assignments specific to people who live in Boston, so consider that, as well! Plus, you'll be close to Salem!!! Visiting Salem at Halloween is on my bucket list. Ghost Hunters is headquartered in Rhode Island and they spent most of every season they've been on the air visiting haunted places in New England...and they still haven't been to all the haunted places. Okay, even if you aren't into that, there are still SO many fun places to visit when your husband is home!!!

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  16. My peeps had a wonderful meet up with several blogging friends in June.
    We didn't realize Belle was a rescue...as they say just who rescued whom?
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  17. Oh geez, this sounds terrifying.

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  18. I went to a couple of meetup groups around here. I'm a little disappointed because they were pretty normal. And everyone kept their clothes on.

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  19. I just had to look. Apparently Barnsley and Wakefield are buzzing with activity. Not much in Sheffield and nothing in Rotherham. Think I'll stick to my cycling club.

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  20. Ahhaha I can't say I've used it in the States, but in London, it was a thing!! Especially for American expats looking for other Americans. Like the American Expat group would throw a massive 4th of July party, etc... I'm sure there are a ton of weirdos but.. Hey!! I wanna hear about it!! HAHA

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    1. I can't wait to join some Boston ones tho!! I would totally do it if I lived in a foreign country!

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  21. I'm actually (a wee little) interested in seeing if there's meetup.com in my city. I'm sure most of the groups would be a lot like the ones you posted. Thanks, but no thanks.

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    1. Oh I'm curious! Let me know if you find anything crazy! Lol

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  22. I am a member of meetup in the Bostonish area and have gone to several events and have meet some really great people through it and had experiences I never would have done otherwise. I went to most of the meetups when I first moved here 10+ years ago (from upstate NY) because I thought it would be a great way to connect with people and to find my way around places and get to know of things to do. I once went to see an X rated hypnotist in the basement of a catholic church in one of the less savory suburbs. High level (elderly) church people were in attendance and had a seat front and center so they dropped it from an X rating to an R-- yaknow ... out of respect for... I'm not sure what.

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    1. so funny about the hypnotist. we saw an adult hypnosis show in vegas one time. the hypnotist made this one guy think his "pecker" disappeared. lol! i also once went to a comedy show and there were all these old people, but the comedians did not tone it down. lol!

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  23. OMG this was hilarious! I have got to go see what kind of meetups are around me. Word to your Alice Springs Chicken bahahahaha.

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  24. Oh my gosh where the heck do you find this stuff?! XD Love that the gangsta meetup happens at 7 pm at a steakhouse haha! I actually love going to MeetUps (I'm hiking a mountain with a MeetUp group this weekend) but there's definitely some sketchy groups in San Diego too. And a lot of nude groups. That I'm sure are just a ton of saggy boob orgies. So just no.

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