August 11, 2016

Stuff I Hate That Everyone Else Loves



I realize that there are many things in this world that I cannot stand, but others do not share my sentiment.

But, BUT, why would you not agree with me?


In my mind. Just kidding, or am I? #narcissimisstillmyhomeboy

But truly, I digress.

I was speaking with my blogging bestie Julie at Jewels Wandering about how I typically do not enjoy what everyone else loves. She was all:


Which is sort of true.

Anyhoo, there are plenty of things I despise that everyone else seems to adore and I thought I would share a few with all of you.

Disclaimer: If you love any of the things which I have mentioned below, please do not take this offensively. This is just what I do not like and I am weird as fuck. Which probably means you are 100% normal. Legit, the looney bin called and it is looking for an escapee. Cue me hiding in the beer fridge.

Here is the Stuff I Hate That Everyone Else Loves.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes

This is not only the most basic bitch drink on earth, but also the nastiest. Why? Newsflash: Pumpkin is gross, people.

I will never forget the time I decided to actually gut a pumpkin and carve it for Halloween. SO cute, Mili Wifey. You do realize your gag reflex is not #onfleek?

Looks like my toilet the time I mixed Orange Crush and vodka.
Yeah, don't try that at home kids.

And you choose willingly to drink this concoction?

Aside from the taste, the worst thing about this drink is the pomp and circumstance that goes along with ordering one of these poison viles at Starbucks.


Everything at Starbucks is mocha latte venti make mine skinny with water poured from a baboon's ass nonsense. When in all actuality, you are just drinking 5,000 pounds of sugary calories in a cup. Why are you going to toss pumpkin and allspice into the mix? Do you enjoy squatting on the porcelain throne ALL.DAY.LONG?


It's your bumhole, folks. Not mine.

Margaritas

Everyone loves a good margarita, right? Nope. I refuse. Why?


Friends, tequila and I do not mix. Little know Mili Wifey fact: one of the first alcoholic beverages I ever had was tequila. I was young, naive and desperate to be a "cool kid." Someone had a bottle of Jose Cuervo, dared me to try a drink and I was like:

I dunno. Seemed like a good idea.
#dumbassery

As you can imagine, I spent the rest of the evening tossing up the contents of my stomach. You would think I would have learned my lesson. Nevertheless, over the rest of my young adulthood, I drank tequila a dozen more times. Every.Single.Time. I got it in my head it was an intelligent idea to drink tequila again, this happened:


Thus, I said a permanent adios to Jose, Patron, Don Julio, El Jimador and all the other amigos de puke.

Margarita Monday may be your jam, but for me:


Game Of Thrones

No. Just NO.


Why the fuck is "winter" always coming?
If I hear this on HBO one.MORE.time. 

Dragons and medieval times? Gag. Look, I endured Dungeons and Dragons in the 80s and that was weird and stupid, and largely, just stupid. Because of all the massive fervor surrounding Games of Thrones, I checked out an episode one evening. What did I see? Some scrawny chick with bleached hair playing with a flying dragon. And I was like:


I know this series is wildly popular. There are at least 5,432,000 panels at San Diego Comic Con for Game of Thrones. However, it is simply not for me. It just seems like another cable network series  (I am looking at you, The Walking Dead) that will be shown, despite the frustrating storylines and mediocre acting, until the greedy producers can drain out every single penny.

Adele

Hello.

It's me, Mili Wifey, and I do not like Adele.


Now, before you go getting your panties rolling in the deep, understand that I do actually know quality music. I studied opera. I adore all the great opera singers like Leontyne Price, Te Kanawa, etc., think Beethovens Sonata op 27 #2 movement 3 is passion and fire and heard my first musical at the tender age of 3 (it was Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar).

With that being said, I find Adele just "meh." Her music is like processed cheese for Generation Y to chow on during a breakup. To this I say, pfffffft. Give me all day every day, Carly Simon's Haven't Got Time For The Pain or Both Sides Now from the architect of heartbreak, Joni Mitchell. These women can SING. And you feel it right down in your guts when they belt out the lyrics to their music.

Adele?


Snore.

The Blindside

Oh, get the fuck out of here with this movie, Warner Brothers.


The Blindside is SO overrated.

Lauded as the "feel good" movie of 2009, The Blindside tells the story of The Tuohys who happen to be an extremely wealthy white family that manage like "a billion Taco Bells" #Merica. They are praised as, like, totally the bestest humanitarians everrrrrr for adopting a nearly grown, poor African American kid. That child just happens to be Michael Oher (currently the offensive tackle for the Carolina Panthers) who is exceptionally talented at sports. Since The Tuohy family all attended Ole Miss and just happen to be huge contributors to Ole Miss football, it should come as no surprise that this is where they want their new son Michael to play football. When I watched this movie, everyone at the theater just thought this was so "special," and mustered up buckets of tears, cheers and "awwww's."


UH OH! Here come those big, nasty meanies at the NCAA who thought maybe, just MAYBE, the Tuohy's motives might not have been so honorable. An investigation is opened, but it is all for naught. The Tuohys defeat those evil bastards at the NCAA and we are dazzled down a sparkly path that leads to Michael being a first round draft pick by the Baltimore Ravens. Cue the musical montage and dozens of photographs of the Tuohy's with Michael, including Mrs. Tuohy posed with Michael like some sort of modern day Pieta.


There is so much I can't even going on here. I despised The Blindside. EVEN Michael Oher was not a fan.

#sorrynotsorry

Mayonnaise

It does not:

1) Look good: Seriously, that white creamy thick consistency? *pukesinmouth
2) Feel good: See #1
2) Smell good: Smells like rancid piss.
3) Taste good: Tastes like rancid AND creamy piss.

Not to mention, it is a favorite condiment amongst hillbillies, hoodrats and other Hills Have Eyes sorts.


Need I say more?

New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is a "holiday" with so much build up that you are destined for disappointment.


When I was single, you HAD to find a date for New Year's Eve. After one was obtained, then you needed to find the PERFECT dress and hippest event to attend. All of my New Year's Eves pre-Military Husband ended in disasters. New Year's Eve just sucks. And what is even more annoying is all the "New Year's" Facebook statutes like:

"NEW YEAR, NEW ME!!"

"This is gonna be MY YEAR. I know it!!"

"Whooooooo NEW YEARS!!!! My diet starts tomorrow."

"New Year's Eve. Wonder what boy I'm going to kiss tonight???"


It is just another year to owe the good old United States government money, people.

How about you? Is there anything you dislike that everyone else seems to love? Let me know in the comments below!

I dislike many things, but hey, I love you because I am,





57 comments:

  1. BAHAHA I definitely agree with you on #1, #2 and NYE. Like I need an excuse to party?!?! Pfft. But I do love mayonnaise. I will eat bread to eat mayonnaise. Yeah, I'm weird like that. I've not watched GOT yet, so can't comment... But seeing that I've yet to watch it speaks volumes, no? Yes.

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    1. Hahahaha! I hate mayo, and I have to put it on MHs sandwiches...barf. The smell!! NYE is so lame.

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  2. I like Adele, mayonnaise and margaritas, but could easily live without the rest. The one thing I hate (oh, that's such a harsh word, but I'll use it since you did) is sports. Any kind really. Men's sports, women's sport, kid's sports, any of 'em. People are obsessed with them. Bars and restaurants have their walls lined with TVs so patrons can watch sports. There's even a whole section of the newspaper dedicated to the idiocy of sports! And the channels on TV?? Don't get me going! I've lived a full life w/o "enjoying" sports and will continue to do so. (Now I'm going to hide away while I get blasted here for my opinion. Remember, you asked and it's just MY opinion!) Thanks Mili Wife. :)

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    1. Haha!! I think there are people who'd agree with you!! I'm not a fan of sports food places like Buffalo Wild Wings lol. But MH loves it!!
      I love you tho!! Xxoo

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  3. Hahahaha! I can't stomach anything pumpkin spice, it's gross!

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    1. Thank god I'm not the only one!! It's horrible! Lol

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  4. MARGARITAS????!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh man! Had to gets that outta my system!!! So ~ you come outta the closet, huh??! Oh man...sorry for you!!!! hehehehe
    Okays, so Ma did spend a few nights praying to the porcelain gods, and she said she would NEVER do THAT again. so she's a liar. ☺
    Nows, I gets the Mayo. Ma does use it sometimes, butts she's never been a big fan. More of a mustard kind of gal. if she mixes it with mustard, it's okay. though, in potato salad (with LOTS of mustard, it's okay!)
    Ma also agrees with you on the pumpkin!!!! OMD, there is nothing worse than pumpkin pie!!!!! GROSS!!!!!! And, NO, whipped cream does NOT make it taste any better!!!!!!!! just sayin'....
    oh, and NOTHING...I mean NOTHING good EVER happens on NYE!!!! NEVER!!!! made to disappoint.
    OMD, I thinks you and Ma could be besties!!! okays, except for the Adelle thingie..she kinda likes some of her songs...yikes! Though, don't gets her wrong, they aren't Aretha! just sayin'
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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    1. I know! So sorry on the Ritas'! I want to drink it I do...my mind is telling me no, but my body....lol.
      I love mustard! Especially the spicy kind. And gross to pumpkin pie. It's just WRONG!
      We definitely could be besties! I mean you girls love Supernatural. So obvs, I love you both already!! #carryonmywaywardson

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  5. I kinda agree with you on everything except Adele. And maybe mayonnaise, if it's mixed with something else yummy. Anyway, I don't love all of Adele's songs, but I think her voice is beautiful.

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    1. My dad loves Adele and I love my dad so yeah, no hate! ;)

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  6. I am with you on Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Game of Thrones, and NYE. I really haven't thought of The Blindside since it came out in what 1989? Adele, yeah I like her voice not her look or anything. Tequila and I are ninja warriors. Shhh you don't know that! LOL Glad you're back sweetie!

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    1. Aw thanks!! Yay another person who doesn't like GOT!! Lol

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  7. I'm with you on New Years' Eve and Game of Thrones! Everything else I'm just meh about.

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  8. I'm with you on the mayo. Basically anything white and gloppy: mayo, sour cream, cottage cheese, ricotta, ranch dressing ... it all turns my stomach.
    KZK

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  9. LOL! I totally agree about Pumpkin Spice lattes. yuck!
    -Kristen
    www.pugsandpearls.com

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  10. PSL and maragritas are grooooossssss. I completely agree with these. Bitches be cray

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  11. I don't like Pumpkin Spice Lattes either. And New Year's Eve is way overrated!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Right? It just makes single people feel more lonely.

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  12. Who do so many people love hummus, guacamole, avocadoes, crab legs and sushi? Don't tell me it's because they taste good cuz I know better! Gimme a good ol' cheeseburger any day and give it a few squirts of mayo! What's up with so many women wearing high heels? They wear them with jeans, yoga pants, shorts. Most of them look like hookers! Do they look in a mirror? Is looking like a hooker cool? And then those chicks flaunting their Starbucks cups like a status symbol. It might be a Pumpkin Spice latte or it might be hot water with instant Folgers crystals. Get over it. I don't need no Starbucks cup to make me look cool! Lastly (for now) all those back windows with the stick family decals. Who cares how many times you've procreated and how many animals you've got shedding hair in your house? *I might be back. Just sayin'.*

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    1. Lmao!!! Those Starbucks tumbler things drive me nuts. $30 for a plastic cup?? No thanks!
      Also, I have an Agents of Shield symbol plastered on my car window lol!!

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  13. OMG..No GoT..no dragons??? We may have to revoke your nerd status! LOL

    Other than mayo and GoT...I'm with you!!!

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    1. HAHAHA! None for me thanks! I sat through 11 seasons of Battlestar Galactica and the most disappointing season finale on earth. My nerd status is for life! Lol.

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  14. I'm not a fan of mayo or pumpkin-flavored anything. I've yet to see GoT. Many times I'm asleep on New Year's Eve.

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  15. I agree with so many of these...although I DO love margaritas. Especially strawberry margaritas. Those are awesome. Pumpkin isn't really my thing either. I don't really even like pumpkin pie. At Starbucks, I either get a skinny mocha or a skinny strawberries & cream frap. The latter is a milkshake...but it's just over 100 calories, so it's good for my perpetual diet that I'm always cheating on!

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    1. Is that the Pokeball frap? The kids at my grocery store Starbucks keep begging me to try it! Lol

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  16. Haha that last one. I agree. We do not a darn thing now that we are grown, married and have kids...

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    1. I know!! I prefer it our way! No drama and low key. :)

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  17. I'm dying over here----I LOVE most of these things, but my husband is just like you--he hates all this stuff!!

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  18. Winter is Coming is the motto of House Stark where it's more a warning that when winter comes (seasons last years instead of months in their world) it stresses the danger and the need to be prepared when winter arrives.

    You also can't jump into it. You have to start from episode one and go forward and you'll most likely get lost until you rewatch it.

    And actually GOT cuts more content from it's book material than it stretches out. They'll be only be two more seasons while the final two books aren't even out yet. Given the size of the next book, they could easily do two seasons out of it.

    I think one of the reasons why it has a large amount of fans is that there is no main storyline. You have many different main characters all across the world and some will never meet each other. But near the end they all kind of wrap up to the single point.

    and my favorite is characters that are never safe. Most TV shows you never feel fear for the hero or even the main cast because they never have the heart to get rid of them. This becomes obvious after the end of season one that this is not the case. The last season had a moment where I couldn't take the stress, I had to look it up.

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    1. Oh no haha. I'm a Sons of Anarchy fan. No one was safe with Kurt Sutter! Joss Whedon didn't have a problem killing people either!

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  19. I like a tad of mayo and mustard combined on my turkey sandwiches.
    I like mayo on my banana sandwich...not a fan of NYE either. We stay off the roads
    Hugs Madi's Mom

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    1. You and my mom are alike! She loves banana and mayo sandwiches!! And tomato and mayo sandwiches are what she ate when she was pregnant with me.

      Delete
  20. How to enjoy Pumpkin beer.

    Step 1:

    Throw it in the Trash

    Step 2:

    Make a Martini.

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  21. Oh, and I thought (because hubby accidentally set the alarm for 4 a.m.on a weekend and I am still half asleep), that you said "hills have eyes ESCORTS" and I thought - "We'll duh, those dudes would have to pay for a piece of a*@ given how honked up they all look!"

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  22. I do love Game of Thrones. But Pumpkin Spice Lattes? Blech. But I DO love pumpkin stuff. But I hate coffee.

    Adele tends to put me to sleep.

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    1. Oh yeah! She makes me sleepy too! Lol.
      I know you love your pumpkin food items. :) I love you so it's all good!! Xxoo

      Delete
  23. Ok, I'm just a basic white girl but Game of Thrones is my one true love. I'd love to be the mother of dragons...haha.

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    Http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

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    1. Hahaha! Really?? I see you more (in the fantasy/comic nerd world) as glamorous witch, like a Charmed! :)

      Delete
  24. Gotta agree with you on Game of Thrones. Two episodes in and I was bored. I love the flavor of pumpkin and will drink pumpkin lattes all day long. BUT I refuse to buy anything from Starbucks. I think it's just a name game and overpriced.

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    1. The fans sure are enthusiastic about that show tho! Lol. I love history but the Medieval era is nothing I romanticize. It's just bleak and depressing.

      Delete
  25. I'm with you on Game of Thrones, mayo, and NYE. (NYE was fun before kids. Now they want to stay up as late as we do. We haven't gone on a date on NYE in YEARS. I'm happy to just stay in and watch movies but my husband wants to be social.) I liked Adele's 21 CD but haven't taken interest in her new one. "Hello" creeps me out a bit. Sorry, but I like pumpkin. I don't like lattes though. I like it in cake, pie, bread, muffins, cookies, etc.
    I did this post a while back: http://merrylandgirl.blogspot.com/2014/07/i-cant-get-on-board-with-that.html

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    1. Yeah I'm surprised how many have said they don't like GoT. It's so popular!

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  26. I am with ya on New Years Eve and Game of Thrones but I love a good pumpkin spice anything while listening to Adele. LOL

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  27. Clint Eastwood's expression is on spot for my feelings towards Game of Thrones. Saw one episode, which included incest. Not rape, straight up incest dude. Accepted incest. WHAT!?
    Have you tried a pumpkin spice latte (LOL sorry). I ask because I hate pumpkin too...but I think the spice perfectly dilutes the pumpkin flavor. The new Tim Hortons cookies and cream iced coffee....."insert that Clint Eastwood gif here".

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    1. Ohh and don't get me started on New Year's Eve!

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    2. Omg I know. I've heard women say it's "empowering." Rape and incest...really???

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  28. I was preparing a post about how I don't like coffee and how people react when they learn this fact but your post has inspired me to expand on it and celebrate being different from the crowd.

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    1. Haha yay!! I do like coffee but pumpkin is a noooo!!

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