January 11, 2016

5 Crazy Things That Happened At My Wedding



Today is Military Husband and Mili Wifey's Two Year Wedding Anniversary. For those of you who did not know, Military Husband and I met online in September 2012. You can read all about it here:

How I Met My Husband On Twitter

I cannot believe it has been two years since I married my soulmate on January 11, 2014, a unseasonably warm winter day at 4:00 p.m.  It was truly one of, if not THE, the best days of my life. Here are a few pictures from our special day.

Groom's cake:

Military Husband was thrilled over this cake.

Our wedding cake:

This cake was SO delicious.

Entryway to the wedding:

You could leave something sweet on a notecard for the bride and groom.
And take something sweet, aka candy, when you finished!

Our guestbook was a scrapbook I made from all our dates/photos/ticket stubs/cards - everyone could thumb through our journey and sign the book:

Sorry about #nudebox blocking out our pics and names.
(When someone's neked on tv, we get #nudebox too. 
Covers up the box, so to speak. Ba dum dum, tss.)

We had a buffet dinner and some of what we served was brisket, chicken, pasta salad, green beans, potatoes (with and without cheese), sourdough bread, sweet tea, champagne punch, champagne, all types of beer, soft drinks and more:

Everyone bragged about our food.

The gentleman that catered our wedding worked with Military Husband. He and his wife were incredible and were at our home from morning until evening (after we left). It was a blessing to know our food was taken care of and cooked with love. 

I thought I would also share with you some crazy things that happened during my wedding. Since our entire wedding was self-orchestrated, with the help of my mother, we did have a few snafus. But, BUT, they are all part of the charm of a simple, small wedding.

5 Crazy Things That Happened At My Wedding

1) Where Is The Ring

A few hours before our wedding, Military Husband suddenly appeared in my dressing area.

And I was all:

Da fuck was he doing in here? 
What was that part about NOT seeing the bride before the ceremony?

Military Husband: Here (grasping onto wedding band) try this on. Does this fit? See if this fits. Does it fit?

Me: Wait. What are you doing in here?

Military Husband (with a look of #desperate): Does it fit? Try it on.

Me: Ok? It fits fine.

Military Husband: THANK GOD.

He lost my wedding band the morning of the wedding. And hours before the wedding, he bought a new one and had it resized. Thank goodness for the awesome guy at the jewelry store who resized my ring quickly before our ceremony. He totally saved the day.

2) Leaning Tower Of Cake

The woman who made my wedding cake and groom's cake was arriving at my family home at noon. Precisely at noon, she arrived with both cakes. I rushed down to greet her. And guess what?


My cake was leaning. The freaking leaning tower of MY wedding cake. It was like my cake was trashed. This was my payback for a lifetime years of non-sobriety: a drunk ass wedding cake.


Fortunately, it tasted delicious. The cake was champagne flavored and the icing was a homemade buttercream.

And yes, we did the whole messy cake eating tradition (even tho, I swore on all things Marvel, I was not doing that stupidity. A few glasses of champagne later, I was about that #messycakelife).


3) Douchey Godmother

I have a small family. Basically, it is me, my mom, my dad and our puppies. My grandparents are deceased, sadly, aside from my grandmother (my mom's mother) who lives far away and does not fly. Therefore, I was excited that my Godmother would be attending my wedding. She has been my Godmother since I was 5 years old (she actually was my kindergarten teacher). I always envisioned her at my wedding, assisting me at the ceremony.

But, BUT, time has passed, a lot has happened in her life and she is not the same woman as she was when I was a child. And at my wedding, she was, well, sort of a jerk. To everyone. She was snobby, rude to my guests, unhappy with my decision to quit practicing law (because that is an "esteemed profession" and I WAS "somebody"), did not like my family or my friends (including making a few racist remarks that were disgusting). She was not helpful or considerate at the wedding. Largely, she made rude faces, comments and even told her new husband she was "ready to leave" because my ceremony did not start on time.

I struggled if I should even write about this happening at our wedding because it is rather personal. However, I thought some of you might be able to relate and/or have family members who are so distasteful or, for lack of a better word, douchey, in their behavior it breaks your heart. I WANTED to have her at my wedding and wanted her to be a part of my life. And since the wedding, we have not spoken. She was rude to my mother and made a comment about Military Husband "just being in the military" and that, my friends, pissed me off upset me. You do not mess with my mom or Military Husband or I will shank a hoe cut you off.

Anyhoo. Le Sigh.

4) Flower Power

As I began to apply my makeup, my friend came bounding up the stairs and this conversation occurred:

My Friend: Mili Wifey, um, you need to get downstairs.

Me: Why?

My Friend: The flowers have arrived. And.....

**Her face (no shit)**


I ran downstairs to see all of my wedding flowers lying disheveled in a box on the floor and the delivery guy saying:

"Where does all THIS go?"

I was unnerved. And my bouquet? An entire side of it was dead. 

Sorry Mick, but #justno.
No dead flowers at my wedding.

There was no fixing it as conveniently, my florist was out of town during my wedding. I was unhappy, but I made the best of the situation. After all, it was just the flowers and marrying Military Husband was all that matter. But, BUT, you can bet your right and left booty check this attorney did NOT pay for the flowers. 

5) I Am Gonna Hurl

Most brides get nervous before their big day. I was just peachy. Up until I met up with my dad to take the walk to meet my soon to be husband. And then it hit me.


I was gonna be a wife. I turned back and this conversation occurred between myself and my photographer's assistant who was straightening out my train:

Me: I'm gonna throw up. Everywhere. Now.

My Photographer's Assistant:


I managed to keep it down, luckily for her. And she was actually super awesome. Later that evening, she held my wedding dress up so I could use the bathroom.

I did #1 only.
I would not put a stranger through #2 while holding up the dress. #justsaying

Our wedding was absolutely phenomenal. My mom did a fantastic job decorating and we had just the right amount of friends and family present. It felt so personal to have a small wedding where everyone could be involved in celebrating our love. Marriage is an incredible journey, and each year Military Husband and I learn how to love each other better. I can honestly say, we are both lucky to have the kind of marriage we do - it is awesome.

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Military Husband! I love you so much and look forward to many, many more years together.

Oh. And if you were wondering what I got Military Husband for the traditional 2nd Anniversary Gift: Cotton. 

Well:


The family that nerds together, stays together. #word

Did you have any crazy things happen at your wedding? Let me know in the comments below!

Celebrating 2 years with Military Husband, I am,

84 comments:

  1. Happy anniversary!

    My momma is definitely NOT inviting a lot of her family members when she gets married. Cuz yeah, some of dem are terribull. Course she hasn't spoken to da cousins she went to high school wif in years cuz of how awful dey is.

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    1. Omgosh. I'm sorry to hear that! Seems like awful family members are an epidemic. Yes, she doesn't want them at her wedding because it's so stressful to have anyone being awful on your big day. And so unfair to you and your soon to be husband!

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  2. Many congratulations, have a great day celebrating
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  3. Happy anniversary - those are some wonderful memories to have

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  4. It shows you that no matter how much you plan, life happens. When my sister got married 2.5 years ago, I told her she had to pick a dress she could go tot he bathroom in by herself lol! Our wedding was very, very small, really no fuss. Nothing happened.
    Happy Anniversary!

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  5. Awe happy 2nd! I hope you get a very special evening together! xoxoxox Amanda

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  6. Happy 2nd Anniversary! Such pretty pictures of your special day!
    We had a similar incident with our flowers-they were not at all what I had commissioned from our florist...At first I was irritated, but you know what, no one else knew what they were supposed to look like, and of course no one remembers that stuff anyway. You are just as married at the end of the day.
    Love the Star Labs shirt!!
    -Kristen
    www.pugsandpearls.com

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  7. I love it! Those little quirks will be the funny stories you tell the kids and grandkids. Happy anniversary!

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  8. First off, congratulations on your 2-year anniversary! Our first year was very difficult, but we made it and added another 31 years and 2 kids to it! This August, we will celebrate 33 years of marriage. Looking back, we had some unbelievable moments too at our wedding. My new mother-in-law, who was always backwards, never wore a bra for her double D's and never even owned a razor, came dressed in a fitted sleeveless dress. Yep, she had birds' nests under her arms and boobs held up by her belt. Worse than that, our photographer ran out of film during the ceremony. What kind of photographer runs out of film? (Remember this was before digital cameras.) He spent the first hour of the reception trying to find a store to buy film. Then when he finally showed up, he came right in and filled a plate of food to eat! Needless to say, I did not have to purchase any of the photos...they were "gifts". I think any bride who deals with situations like these on her wedding day is guaranteed a blissful marriage! Hugs (and pugs) to you!

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  9. I think you have to have a few snafoos at your wedding so you have these fun stories to tell! You handled it all wonderfully!! Have a happy, happy anniversary!!

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  10. Congrats on your 2nd year anniversary. fanks for sharing.
    stella rose

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  11. Happy Anniversary Mili-Wife.
    Leaving a career in law? I think you made the right choice . . . only two professions hated more than an undertaker - Law and Journalism.
    I should know. . . I was a journo.
    Love Noodles

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    1. Hahaha right? The legal profession is just filled with awful people so that doesn't help! I can't understand why anyone wants to be a lawyer anymore.

      Delete
  12. hAPPY HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND MILITARY HUBBY.
    OH MY WORD I HAD JUST A TAD OF A CHUCKLE AT THE EVENTS LEADING UP TO THIS PERFECT DAY.
    BLESS YOUR HEART IT IS FUNNY NOW AND MAKES FOR A GREAT POST THANK YOU FOR SHARING
    LOTS OF HUGS MADI AND MOM

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  13. Happy Anniversary!!! Sounds like your day was filled with character! We have a few family members that we wish would stay home sometimes. My brother-in-law and wife showed up at my stepsons Church wedding in tank tops, blue shorts and BIL had on blue and white stripped knee socks. Oh MY God! This same BIL showed up at a funeral home for an uncles viewing in sweat pants!
    hugs
    PugRanch Mom & the kids

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    Replies
    1. Omgosh that is crazy!!! Hahaha.
      Thank you!!

      Delete
  14. Happy Anniversary! Wishing you a very very special day. :)

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  15. Despite all the things that went wrong, your wedding still looks amazing. Happy Anniversary!

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  16. Happy Anniversary! I have to admit, I laughed out loud at some of these. I can totally relate to family being assholes when it comes wedding time -- why must people be so crazy?!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I know.....people be cray. Haha.
      Thank you!

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  17. Aw, you're such a newlywed! congrats on your anniversary! your post certainly brought back memories of my wedding and made me laugh, especially the part about getting nervous before walking down, and also the part about having someone help hold my dress while going to the bathroom. For me it took two people!

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    1. I know, we are still babies in marriage!! :)
      Omgosh two people! Hahaha. I'm glad I wasn't the only one! It was such a 27 Dresses moment!

      Delete
  18. Happy anniversary!

    Oh man, crazy. We just got married in a courthouse and after reading this I'm sort of glad we did. But at least you had a day to remember!

    And now I want some cake.

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    1. We thought about getting married at the courthouse! Our favorite judge married us. One of the first judges I practiced law in front of..that was actually very special!

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  19. happy anniversary. My mum started reminiscing. She had only been in the US 4 months when she got married. There were a total of 13 people (including the Rabbi, mum and her now ex). Also, being February in Cleveland, OH, it was in the middle of a blizzard!!!! They did go to Europe for their honeymoon in August, and mum's dad made a nice reception for them -- the only real snafu was that mumm's brother had about 3 cameras and they only got 2 decent pictures!!!! Fortunately one of them was of her dad cos he died the following February!!!

    Again -- happy anniversary and MANY more

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  20. Happy Anniversary. I love learning more about you!

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  21. We have been married for almost 34 years but screw-ups at your wedding stayed etched as if it were yesterday. When I "tossed" my wedding bouquet to all of my bridesmaids and my friends, a woman I did not know (50+ year old friend of my mom's) scrambled and snatched it from the air! The photographer snapped the photo and I look like I am close to murdering her. *On a side note, she married some old geezer that lived in the nursing home where she worked! ROFL Most things that go wrong can be looked back on with laughter and this definitely qualifies.

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    1. Omg. Lady, that is hilarious!!!! Hahahahahaha. I wish I had a moment like that.

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  22. You are too funny! Happy anniversary, and the leaning cake would have freaked me out but what can you do it all works out. I was bridezilla to say the least!

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    Http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

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    Replies
    1. Lmfao. Everyone is a bridezilla. We all say we won't be, but we become one. And all those damn TLC shows don't help one bit! They bring out the inner bridezilla!

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  23. Happy Anniversary!! The couple that nerds together, lol. And I love the Red Sox cake!!

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  24. Sounds like quite an experience. Sorry to hear about your Godmother disappointing you. Most of our photos had a black smudge on them from something on the camera lens. My husband had to photoshop it out of most of our pictures. He ended up putting together our album, but went too photoshop crazy and ended up giving my dad glasses in some pictures but not others, even though they were all part of the same scene. Oops! I also have to deal with having someone I hate more than anything on my wedding video because he was at my wedding with a close friend at the time. (He became a psycho jerk later on...) To each their own, right? Sounds like you made the best of your special day and the food sounds yummy. Happy anniversary!

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    1. Yes, our wedding was still awesome despite one sour puss!! Thank you!!

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  25. Happy 2nd anniversary. It sounds like you took all of the wedding mishaps in stride, which is more than what other people can say when life throws curves. I'm really sorry about your Godmother creating a scene and disappointing you. It's a shame people can be so petty. Thanks for sharing! :)

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    1. Misery loves company, you know!
      No one could take that day away from us though. :) Thank you!

      Delete
  26. Happy anniversary, Is your wedding going to be a Lifetime movie?

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    1. Lol! I wish my life were that dramatic, but Military Husband likes no drama. So alas, I lead a simple life!

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  27. I think the fact that your cake was leaning makes it unique. How many of us can say we had a cake that leaned? Now I have to read up on how you met your husband on Twitter!

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  28. Happy, happy anniversary! Yours looks like the kind of wedding/reception I would love to attend! I was very laid back about planning my wedding, which is weird for me because normally I'm such a worry wart. It was a really long time ago (25 years), but I think everything went smoothly. Or I could have just blocked it out by now :)!

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  29. Happy anniversary!! And haha there is always that one douchey relative... Or guest...! Drunken cake, oh no!!

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    1. Haha I would love a crazy guest! You should have been that guest! Where were you?? Lol!! Renewing vows you must attend!! xxooo

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  30. As my mom and I drove to my wedding, we were halfway there when I realized I forgot my dress. Whoops!

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    1. Omg. I would die! Hahaha. I think they call that "wedding brain"....I was on that for a few months.

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  31. Happy anniversary! Those cakes look delicious, btw

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  32. Nothing crazy at my wedding, but thank God for that because I was 24 weeks pregnant and I would have cut a bitch if something went wrong :)

    One thing I did not expect after getting married was feeling so weirded out by giving up my last name. I've always wondered if I am the only one who felt that way! I totally wanted to get married, and I love my husband, but I felt like once my name change was official, I lost "something." Am I crazy???

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    1. Haha yeah it was pretty weird to me. It took forever to quit saying my maiden name. I've been called that for so long. It's a huge change but in some ways it was like I reinvented myself! Like starting over -a new life!

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  33. Dead flowers!? I'd flip! That's so cute of your husband all worried rushing in about the wedding band.

    - Harlynn
    mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

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    1. Haha yeah but what can you do? I didn't pay for them tho!! Xxoo

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  34. Happy belated anniversary! My bouquet was nothing like what I had requested. I just wanted a handful of flowers, but the florist provided a huge bouquet! Luckily my wedding planner fixed it up. But really...someone had told me to relax - if something goes wrong odds are most people won't even know - it's just how you handle the situation. If I could do it all over again I'd elope. LOL!

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    1. Mine was huge too. WAY too big for someone my size.
      I was pretty cool through the whole thing. I mean, I think there is too much emphasis on a wedding being some sort of "fairy tale day" for girls. And girls get all in arms about it when things go wrong. It makes me sad to see girls go crazy over their wedding. They forget it's about the marriage, not the ceremony, flowers and reception!

      Delete
  35. Happy second anniversary! I loved reading about the food you had AND that cake..leaning or not leaning...it looked really yummy!!! As far as I know, most marriages with not-so-perfect weddings tend to outlast those that start with perfection...just saying' ;-)

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    1. That is great to know! Hahaha! Everyone said our food was delicious and the cake was outstanding. So to me, it was a winner. I just wanted everyone to have a good time and enjoy good food!

      Delete
  36. Happy anniversary! Basically, our wedding ended up being a drunken frat party. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. Hubster's entire chapter showed up with lots and lots of booze.

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  37. Good heavens! Happy late anniversary. Maybe I was just kind of chill on my wedding because the worst thing that happened was Joe and I argued the morning of the wedding. By the time he got there he was just so stinking happy to see me, nothing else mattered. (Yeah, we saw each other right before our wedding too. Tradition be damned!). Anywho, it all makes for a great story and something to tell everyone for eternity.

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    1. Hahaha. Yeah, honestly, none of this stuff was a big deal. I was so nervous! I don't even know why. But I remember shaking when I came up to Military Husband. I can't believe it has been 2 years!

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  38. Happy anniversary! Here's wishing you and your husband many more wonderful years together. My husband and I met online too. It was via ICQ message chat. Buffet food is the best for weddings. Glad things worked out, even with the snafus.

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    1. Thank you so much!! Omgosh another online success story. I think it's amazing we can make connections through the Internet! We never would have met our husbands had it not been for technology.
      Buffet food is the best period. Lol!
      Xxoo

      Delete
  39. Oh gosh, dead flowers and an awful godmother?! My mom had a complete hysterical meltdown hours before my wedding and showed up an hour late to when we were supposed to start. She was a MESS. lol it turned out good though, lots of margaritas at the reception :)

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    1. Lol! Oh gosh. My mom was great! Thankfully. Margaritas sound awesome!!!

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  40. Dang I somehow missed this post! Happy Belated Anniversary :)

    Our preacher was the douche at our wedding. He was new to our church and divorced so he kept saying things like you sure about this & you can turn back anytime. I was like seriously jackwagon STFU. He made me cry at my rehearsal and my Aunt set him straight and I did not get anymore grief from him after that and I have never stepped foot in my childhood church again. Which is sad. He is no longer there so maybe I will visit now. LOL

    And I almost got sick too. Happens to the best of us ;) They were feeding me crackers and ginger ale while we were having our photos done cause I didn't think I was gonna make it to the reception.

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    1. Are you serious!! OMG!!! That is horrible!!!

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