September 16, 2015

On Being Mili Wifey, Or That Time I Got Serious (#LilBit)



Hello all my little precious olives in my endless glasses of martinis. I have returned from my birthday extravaganza and I have SO. MUCH. TO. SHARE.

I know, I KNOW, you are like:


But, BUT, I have funny stories and I saw some interesting "things." For example, "things" like this:

Yep, I am THAT asshole. I take pictures of strangers. Emphasis on #strange.
Hey, hey, hey it is for BLOGGING research. For YOU. 


We will get to all this and more later. For now, we need to have a talk. On the way home from my trip, I realized my blog is called "Military Wife and Pug Life." Yep, I just realized that because this is what happens to your brain when you drink too many martinis over a lifetime, folks.


Anyhoo, in all seriousness. You might have noticed by now that other than me referencing "Military Husband" here and there, I never really talk about what it is like to be a "Mili Wifey." There are several reasons I do not, but for one, I am definitely no expert. Military Husband and I have only been married less than two years, we do not live on base and I have yet to be PCS'ed or gone through a deployment. 

Also, as you know by now, I enjoy talking about the stuff I am an expert on, like trashy Lifetime movies, weaves and ratchets.

I mean, when you know your niche, you know.


But in today's post, I thought I would touch on my life as "Mili Wifey." Mainly because I want to address something I see a bit here and there when I am out snooping around the blogging world. I want to talk about complaining, more specifically, complaining about life in the military. Whether it is complaining about where your husband is stationed, what you do not like about XYZ base, your husband's hours, your husband's deployment or pending deployment or just, in general, a lot of this:


Yeah. THAT. 

Look, I get it, I really, really do. The military lifestyle is not for everyone. It is not always easy. And neither is life. BUT, you make the best of whatever you are handed because folks, life is short. Too short. And bitching, moaning, complaining and whining is not only annoying, but it does not ever make any situation improve. NOT to mention, things can always be worse. Trust me, they can. And when I see women constantly doing this sort of thing, I just am all:


There are many days Military Husband leaves to go to work at 5:00 a.m. and earlier, and does not return home until 8:00 p.m. or later. He wants to be in bed by 10:00 p.m. This means I see Military Husband for maybe two hours out of the day, if that, and this schedule goes on for weeks, NO, months at a time. And keep in mind, during the time he is home, he is eating dinner, showering and winding down, not doing this:

Tho, yeah, that would be fun. #amIright or #amIright

Do I miss him? Yup. Do I wish we had more time together? Most definitely. Do I bitch? Nope. Why? Because Military Husband's number one priority in life is his service to the United States of America. It would be incredibly selfish of me to make him feel like crap because I was lonely, or sad, or peeved he can not always be around. I know that he KNOWS how many hours he works and he misses us dearly. Being a good Mili Wifey involves more than just doing laundry or cooking dinner, it also means holding the family together. And part of that means NOT bitching all the time about the military lifestyle.

I married Military Husband because I loved "Husband" and wether he was a garbage man or President of CooCoo Island, I wanted to be his wife. I accepted this life and I pledged myself to make the best of everything because we are going through it together. 

This ain't a solo act. I am not Beyonce'. 

But you know, sometimes I think I am. With the weave and all.

Military Husband is making this journey called life with me. 

When he does have leave, like this past weekend, we make every second count. We make the BEST of our time together. 

You guys know I can be outspoken, and after reading a recent post by someone in the military community (and NO, no one who follows the blog, you ladies are my beeyatchs #represent), I just could.not.hold.it.in.any.longer. I mean, if you MUST bitch, whine, complain and moan, they do make diaries for that sort of thing. It does not need to blasted on the Internet. Or you can tell a friend. 

Even if your only friend cannot talk back.

P.S. I think those friends are the best.

I hope I did not come off too bitchy in this post. 

If so, just be like:


I can handle the truth.

Do you or your husband have a stressful job or long hours? How do you deal with the situation? Also, do you like hearing people complain? Do you think I am a bitch? Is that a trick question? Let me know in the comments!

I love you all more than I love wine flights, and I am still,

41 comments:

  1. All the bitching is so annoying, life sucks sometimes but come on, don't put it online.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LMFAO This is too, too funny...! But on a more serious note, agreed. If you need to have a whinge about your husbands long hours/not being around because he is WORKING, then do it in private. Whoever this guy is that you're referring to needs to be cut some slack...!

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  3. it is funny that people will think about what they say face to face but have verbal diarrhea when they are online

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know.
      I just cannot with all the negativity. Life is so short to be so damn negative.

      Delete
  4. Amen. Although I have no idea of what it would be like to have a military husband, or military anybody, really...we Canadians are different that way, I totally see your point and love it.

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  5. I just found your blog, and I'm so glad I did.

    Have you been to the FRG meetings yet? If not, your going to need a lot more martinis, brace yourself. I was an RG co-leader once, lord the phone calls you get from spouses. Yes, your DH is about to deploy, yes, he really does need to go to the field for a week to prepare. No, I cant change that.
    Personally, I (and we) love the 'mili' lifestyle. The good, the bad, all together it is what make our life beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you!!
      And you know, I love it too. I really enjoy being a wife of an awesome and brave man.

      Delete
  6. LOVE this post. First, thank you to your husband for defending our country. Only the brave will write a check for everything up to and including their lives. And thank you to you for being there for him. Second, bitching does not change ANYTHING except maybe give the bitcher a worse attitude. Your spin on making the best of it and accepting decisions is fantastic! Third, glad you had a great birthday weekend!

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  7. eek- I think its so sad to see women complaining about their husband ONLINE! Makes my heart sad actually, my feelings would be so hurt if my husband did that to me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I know. Again, get a diary people!! Or one of those weird Erin Condren sticker journal things.
      Seriously, Lisa Frank should drop kick Erin Condren.

      Delete
  8. Well said Mili Wife
    I have lots of friends who have been military wives (and a good friend in the military who is single and raising 5 kids). It isn't an easy life but it can be worse - much worse. No use complaining and pouting.
    I am a bit of a pollyana and glass half full kinda gal.
    Love Noodles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I've seen a lot of folks go through some tough times in the legal business. Poverty, losing loved ones, intense battles over custody, eye. It's like count your blessings. You just don't know how good you have it!

      Delete
  9. Yes! I can't handle the chronic complainers, it drives me crazy. Yeah Kyle's hours suck but I deal with it and move on. Life could be a whole lot worse.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly!! And you guys are always making the most of your time together!

      Delete
  10. I try not to complain too much, but sometimes it does help. I've always said blogging keeps me sane ;)

    Oh and yes, Tom works crazy hours. Well, he used to when he was on flight. Now he has "regular" schedule. He goes in at 7 and gets back at 5. But he wakes up at 5 to go to the gym. So he's pretty tired when he gets home. But I don't mind. I do my own thing, really.

    I mostly get pissy when he has last minute deployments. He had one the last time and we had a Disney World trip planned. He had to miss it. It can just be frustrating when you can't plan things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well that's understandable. Missing out on a family vacation would totally stink. But you made the best of the situation for the kids, of course. It seems like some people enjoy being miserable. And that I don't get. Like you said, do your own thing when he's not around. Find a hobby. Read a book. Military Husband can't always sit around and text me or entertain me.
      Luckily I have Lifetime for all my entertainment purposes. Oh. And The Real Housewives.

      Delete
  11. You tell em! Life is what you make of it. it is too short to complain and be negative all the time.
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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    Replies
    1. I just saw a vide last night before I wrote this with children and a family sharing one bed. In a tiny hut. With tattered dirty clothes. I mean heck life isn't easy, but I feel so blessed. I have a home, food, clothing and a great life.

      Delete
  12. Haha, loved this post, you're hilarious ;-) My hubby is in the military too, and we're stationed in wonderful Ft. Bragg --> insert sarcasm here. So although I'm really not crazy about this location, I don't have time to complain about it because a) I have a blog to populate and b) I just started my own dog walking & pet sitting business in March and it is BOOMING. Woohoo. No time to bitch, sometimes my hours are crazier than hubby's ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey you've got it going on lady!
      You're doing something awesome with your career and that's really impressive!

      Delete
    2. Thank you! It was either that or complain about boring country life ;-))

      Delete
  13. Military wives are amazing! My high school prom date is a higher-up in the military and he recently took a job that let him move his family back home. He said shorter hours, too, but I'm not sure what "shorter" means. Could be just slightly shorter than 18-hour days! You're right--we have to take what life gives us and make the most of it. You have the perfect attitude!

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    Replies
    1. Aw thanks!! Hey I've been through my fair share of crap before I met Military Husband. I know life is short! And ain't nobody got time for a whiny beeyatch!!

      Delete
  14. I'm not a military wife but I can empathize with those who have to play second fiddle due to deployments, etc. However, I think a wife that's a nag (regardless of her husband's occupation) is making her husband's life miserable, as well as her own life. Quitchabitchin, I say!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But I think some people really do love misery. And you know what they say, misery loves company. It's like these drama mamas who post statuses on Facebook:
      "OMG HAVING THE WORST DAY EVERRRRR!"
      and you ask them what happened?
      And they say "oh gosh I don't even want to talk about it."

      Girl, bye.

      Hahaha

      Delete
  15. My favorite post of yours ever. First of all, thank you, thank you to you AND your husband for your service to our country. I appreciate it more than you can know. My hubby and I kind of have the opposite problem - we own a business together, so we...um...maybe spend too much time together? A little complaining here and there on the blog is okay, but honestly, nobody wants to read constant whining and moaning. And no, I do not think you are a bitch. You are hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My parents own a business together; I totally understand where you are coming from.
      Thank you so much. Military Husband would tell you it is his pleasure. He LOVES his job. I really do nothing other than be his wife. And that is a great honor. He's a good man. Sometimes I wonder what the hell he is doing with me? Haha.

      Delete
  16. Great post. Thanks for the insight into your life. My husband recently started a job with longer hours and a long commute on top of that. Thankfully, he still manages to help with stuff for the kids in the morning and is present in their lives when he gets home. In the meantime, all the work he needs to get done after hours frees me up to watch more of "Parenthood" when the kids go to bed. It's a win-win. :) Overall, I'm happy because it took him 6 months to find this job after being out of a job for a while, so now he's not stir crazy and he's enjoying his job. Is his new schedule stressful for me? Yes, but we'll figure things out. :)

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    Replies
    1. A new job he enjoys is awesome!!
      Those are hard to come by these days.

      Delete
  17. I don't have any patience for whiners, moaners, or negative people. Everyone has problems and nobody has fun at a Pity Party. (They don't even serve chips and dips) Military life is hard, oilfield life is hard, working for a living is hard. We all get it. #QuitYourBitchin Now, to answer your question, no I don't think you are a bitch, I think you are hilarious and you brighten my day!

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    1. This comment is so spot on. My mom could easily say she's had at harder than most. Working in my dads business and holding it together. But she doesn't because she is independent and strong. And that's why our family is so great.
      So much selfishness in the bitching.

      Delete
  18. My Dad was military and I don't ever remember my Mom complaining when he had to leave for a month or so. She would just carry on with her four kids like it was the norm. I am not a military wife but all the complaining in general on FB drives me nuts. Sometimes I just have to stay away from it for a couple days. I just want to scream at people. Your alive and you don't have a incurable disease so sit down, shut up and be thankful dammit LOL ;)

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha YES!! I love your mom; she rocks!!
      I know; complainers are usually drama mamas too. And the only drama I like is the Lifetime kind. :)

      Delete
  19. Ha! I have a terribly stressful job and because of it, I cry...a lot. I mean actually cry. Okay, not really although it does give me a lot of headaches and only part of them are caused by the wine i am forced to consume to make it through a work week. :)
    As for hubs, he works HVAC. Now I am sure you can imagine fixing Air Conditioners in Texas, in the summer is not exactly living the life of luxury. He does Commercial AC so he is on top of big buildings sometimes needing a crane to get units up there. I am all like :-/ "don't fall"! Of course he leaves the house about 5:30am every day and he sometimes doesn't get back until after 7 a few times not until nearly 10pm. . Because he is so tired and exhausted from being outside in 100 degree plus weather, he passes out on the sofa most weeknights. Luckily, he usually showers because AC husband doesn't smell like roses. :)
    As for how we handle it, we try to spend as much time as possible together while awake although his thing is always getting things done if he is awake.

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    1. Haha your husband sounds like my dad! Similarly, he works outside a good bit. When he was younger, his hours were the same!
      You make the best of what you have in life! Xxoo

      Delete

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