September 29, 2015

Lifetime Movie Network The Final Chapter: Murder In Mexico



Over the weekend, Military Husband and I watched three movies: 1) Mazerunner: The Scorch Trials which is, in my opinion, the best teen apocalyptic movie series; 2) The Loft, which we both liked and is currently available on Netflix and; 3) The Visit, the latest M. Night Shamalamadingdong film, which, not surprisingly, was absolute garbage. 

At least two of the three movies we saw were decent, and just like How I Met Your Mother's "Naked Man," two out of three ain't bad.

Two out of three times, guaranteed.
#nakedman 

But truly, I digress.

Of course, I certainly can not forget that other movie I watched this weekend. My weekly routine which is like a "Lifetime" of listening to a screaming baby in a poopy diaper calling my name:


This week's Lifetime movie "Murder In Mexico: The Bruce Beresford-Redman Story" was another one of those true crime/beyond the headlines Lifetime movies. Bruce Beresford-Redman is an Emmy award winning reality television show producer, most notably Survivor and Pimp My Ride, who stood trial in Mexico for and was ultimately convicted of the murder of his wife Monica. You can read all about his story if you are interested: Bruce Beresford-Redman's Story. Like I wrote last week, usually, Lifetime does a decent job with these "true crime" movies. 

But these past two weeks have just been PURE torture. And more torture than the usual Lifetime Saturday night. I mean, as soon as this movie began, I was like:


But I pressed on, all for you. Le Sigh.

Now, for those of you who eat your cake before you eat your brussel sprouts, I always give a plot summation. Well, this movie was pretty much like this:


Or this:


In both Simpson and Robert Blake's trial, we are left with a mound of evidence, and a divided camp on their guilt or lack thereof. Both men, as we know, were found innocent. In Bruce Beresford-Redman's case, we are presented with the same divided camp of guilty/not guilty. Except, Beresford-Redman was ultimately found guilty with only circumstantial evidence at play because he was at the mercy of the Mexican judicial system. 

Being that I am an attorney, you would think this sort of thing would fascinate me. You would think I would have been excited about seeing this movie. But honestly, I was all:


Than watch this movie for TWO HOURS AND TWO MINUTES. I will never get that back, Lifetime.

Let's press on. It is April 5, 2010 and Bruce Beresford-Redman, his wife Monica and two children are vacationing in Cancun, Mexico at a resort for Monica's birthday. Bruce and Monica are in a poisonous relationship, and this trip is an attempt to repair the marriage. We flashback in Lifetime Land to the backstory. Monica owns a restaurant in Los Angeles called Zabumba Cafe and Bruce is reality television producer who works hard, and works even harder playing hide the banana with his production assistant Hilary Sanders. One night, Monica hears Bruce on the phone whispering sweet nothings to Hilary. She suspects he is cheating, so the next night, she goes through Bruce's phone and finds text messages to Hilary. She confronts Bruce, screaming "I will take your children, this house and every god damn cent!"


Now, Bruce, being one of those weird Hollywood types, does not like this at all. One can only guess this will lead to Monica's "disappearance," i.e. horrible death. This is exactly why I have no desire to be famous. Famous people are just plain weird.

No, you say? Need I remind you of this:


This:


Or this:

Remember, he believes he can fly.

And I could on and on AND on with examples. I am not certain if it is all the money or the notoriety that fries their brains, but celebrities are real wackadoodle ding dongs.

We flash forward to Mexico, and Monica and Bruce are seemingly getting along well. However, Monica checks Bruce's phone and is visibly upset. Just before dawn, the neighbors at the suite beside Monica and Bruce's suite hear arguing, but do nothing. The next evening, Bruce calls the front desk looking for his wife. He claims she went shopping earlier that day, without her phone, and never returned. 

Now folks, he waited ALL day before he started looking for her. First of all, Military Husband would never let me go gallivanting around Mexico without a cellphone and second, if I disappeared for more than an hour, he would be hunting me down. Bruce's behavior had me like:


Over in flashback land, Monica goes to Hilary and is all:


Because of course he is, Bruce is still trying to see Hilary, but Hilary tells him that she does not want to continue the affair after she spoke with Monica. This infuriates Bruce and he screams at Monica for confronting Hilary because, duh, no one gets between him and his affair. Monica is upset and Bruce is pretty much like:


Back in Mexico, Bruce has gone to the Lifetime Police Department, except this is not our normal horrible Lifetime Police Department, this is The Mexican Lifetime Police Department. And these two bozos actors playing the cops overact play it up like they are off to the Titty Twister to hunt down the Gecko Brothers.


Surely this was their first acting gig. 

Anyhoo, they talk to the neighbors who tell them about the arguing just before dawn. And the security guard informs them that he never saw Monica leave the property that day. The cops automatically suspect that Bruce is involved in some way or another. Oh, and during the investigation, there is a lot this going on between the cops:

Like they got all their acting lessons watching old spaghetti Westerns.

Back in flashback land, Monica has drained the bank accounts and told the school Bruce is not allowed to pick up his children anymore. She wants a divorce, and Bruce is pissed. He does not want to lose everything in a divorce, and he wants to continue doing the musical muchacha with Hilary. Whatever shall he do? Plan a sporadic trip to Mexico with Monica and the kids for Monica's birthday! He claims this will be a way to rekindle their relationship.

And I am like, Monica:


Back in Mexico, The Mexican Lifetime Police Department, who shall be known from this point forward as TMLPD, finds Monica assuming the Lifetime position. Even worse, her body was found neked in a sewer less than a mile away from Bruce's suite. The cause of death? Asphyxiation. TMLPD is determined to prove Bruce was the killer.  

TMLPD learns these facts about the evening Monica died:

1) Bruce did not allow the maid to clean the room.
2) According to the hotel key card, someone went in and out of the room fifteen times that evening.
3) Bruce had cuts on his neck that looked like fingernail scratches. 

But Bruce has an explanation for everything. He claims the noises the neighbors heard were a result of he and Monica playing a game with their son that involved running into things. Further, he said that he got the scratches when he fell while taking a picture of Monica and the kids. And he went in and out of the room fifteen times to look for his wife. TMLPD tells him they think it was murder and he is the main suspect, which has Bruce like:


TMLPD do not buy his act one bit, grab his passport and demands he remain in Mexico. Hey, bad acting and all, TMLPD is exponentially better than the regular Lifetime P.D. Those dufuses would be at a bar hashing out their fantasy football leagues while Bruce went on a killing spree. #shittiestcopsonearth 

Because running from the law always makes you look innocent, Bruce decides to leave Mexico illegally. TMLPD finds out, and has him extradited back into the country in 2012. Back in flashback land, we see Monica the day before she died when she discovered Bruce's phone in Mexico. Apparently, Bruce was texting more sweet nothings to Hilary. 

Damn, Bruce, could you just like chill your libido during a family vacation? 


Back in Mexico, a judge is determining if there is enough evidence to make Bruce stand trial for murder. TMLPD believes that Monica was packing up in the early morning hours to leave Bruce, they argued and he killed her. They think he hid the body in the hotel shower during the day, and moved the body/dumped evidence later that night. TMLPD had NO physical evidence that Bruce was involved with the murder and were allowed to introduce all sorts of hearsay. Ultimately, the judge found sufficient evidence for Bruce to stand trial. He waited for his trial for three years in a Mexican prison and was eventually convicted of murder which carried a twelve year sentence.

Folks, DO NOT, repeat DO NOT behave badly in other countries. You will go to jail and there is not a damn thing the United States can or will do to help you. 

Bruce REALLY should have rented Brokedown Palace before his trip.

Claire Danes taught me not to meet strange dudes in Thailand.
Or, you know, carry drug backpacks through the airport.

Because it is Lifetime, at the end of the movie, there was some cheesy interview with Bruce that went something like this:

"Are you a 'Survivor,' Bruce?"
"Did you try to Outwit, Outplay and Outlast the Mexican authorities?"

I was just like:


Lifetime....just #no.

Did you watch Murder In Mexico? Do you think Bruce Beresford-Redman is guilty of killing his wife? 

As always, I wear Lifetime around my neck, so you don't have,

50 comments:

  1. Would any husband allow his wife to disappear all day shopping? I nose my Dad worries what Mum's spending if she's gone fur 5 mins!!!!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  2. OH MY WORD YOU FIND THE MOST INTERESTING MOVIES TO REVIEW!!
    MY DAD LIKES SCI-FI MOM LIKES ROMANTIC COMEDIES AND MYSTERIES.
    HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF

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  3. Heck our dad calls our mom if hers runs down to the gas station and is gone to long, ummm...do you fink he is a stalker at heart....we watched that movie also.........mom was in a bad mood and it just made it darker. stella rose

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    1. That movie was terrible. I have high hopes for next weekend!!

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  4. hahaha I always look forward to your reviews, they make my day.

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  5. Shopping she was out shopping ~ why every dog knows there are some dogs that will shop till you drop. Monica was out sniffing out bargains. Bruce being married to Monica probably knew she was a shop till you drop kind of dog. So since you are an attorney maybe you could use that in his defense.
    I liked The Loft.
    Thanks for being a fiend
    Sweet William The Scot

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    1. Lol. I'm sure they tried that one.
      The fact that there was no physical evidence blows my mind. No American jury would convict him. But when you do bad things in another country....

      Delete
  6. I like movies that are either really good or really bad. Imagine my delight after reading a couple of your Lifetime movie reviews to find out that I get the channel. Do they ever have good movies or do they specialize in direct to TV for a reason?

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    1. I think their older movies are decent. I also liked The Murder Pact!
      My mom loves it and she loves the Hallmark Channel.

      Delete
  7. You are too funny :). I would rather ready your recaps of movies then watch them!! The last movie I saw was Antman. My son and I love Marvel movies :)

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    1. Awwww yesssss!!! Antman was so good! A fellow member of the #MCU fandom! Do you watch Agents of Shield? If not, you should be!! Season 3 starts tonight!! :)

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  8. I agree with Julie ^ - me too! HA! Thanks for painfully enduring that over 2 hour long movie, so that we didn't have to! :)

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    1. Like Beyoncé sang, I'm a survivor I'm not gonna give up....

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  9. No, I did not watch this one. Ha. But I DID watch The Visit and enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Next week- 90210 Unauthorized Story!!!
      Military Husband liked the twist in The Visit. But I just could not. The diaper with poo in the face was where I tapped out.

      Delete
  10. OMG yes sounds life a definite snore fest!!! LMAO at the R. Kelly photo and the caption!!

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    1. Lol! Just you wait. I have more R Kelly in store for you!!! Coming soon......

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  11. I'm surprised The Visit was not good...did not seem like a movie I'd watch, but I've enjoyed his earlier movies. Never heard of the Loft - will have to check into this one!

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    1. It was really gross and pointless. There was an obnoxious kid rapping in it...it was just so cringeworthy! Do not take your kids anywhere near that movie, either.
      The Loft was good! Definitely watch it with your husband!

      Delete
  12. You are a patient, patient woman...LOL! I could never get through a Lifetime movie....now, give me a good Sci Fi B movie anytime, you know like Sharknado....ROFL!

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    1. Omg I don't know how you do Sharknado!! Lmao!!!

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  13. I have not heard of this murder plot. I can tell you everything about the O.J trial though. LOL!

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  14. Oh snap! I read the preview before the jump and got so excited because I thought you might, *just might* sneak in a review of The Visit (which I know will suck, but I still wanna see it anyway), or The Loft (which I'm psyched is on Netflix)! I have some serious movie watching to do this weekend - Pitch Perfect 2 #holla
    Nonetheless, I loved your review. And I love you too for cracking me up! Smiles all around for this one!

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    Replies
    1. Ugh The Visit! I hated it!
      But you should see The Loft! It was good!!
      Oh and I saw a movie called "Sisterhood of Night" on Netflix you should watch, esp being a teacher of middle school. It's a very good movie.

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    2. I will try to watch it this weekend!! Totes. I will definitely need a break grading all of these enthralling personal narrative papers ;)

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    3. Oh yay!! Hope you have a good weekend doll.

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  15. I remember hearing about this guy. I'd still rather read your review.

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  16. Another Dateline or 20/20 story. That guy is crazypants. Seriously. He invited cameras into his jail cell down there and acted like the narcissistic freak he is while they were there. You could tell he was eating the attention up...very disturbing. Jail is very unpleasant where he is. They're outside with very little shelter, packed into tiny cells. So many of these psycho nutbags who kill their wives/girlfriends are very clearly narcissistic.

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    1. Again, a weird Hollywood type!
      I think he was involved. Not sure if he did it, but he played a hand in it.
      My one question is how he managed to get her body out of the room and walk a mile away with it to dump it...and no one noticed this? He had to have help. Or paid someone.

      Delete
  17. Ooh, I want to watch the new Maze Runner...! I'll check out the Loft, if I ever get my wifi working again...

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    1. Girl! You must see The Loft! It's good!
      And I love the Mazerunner movies. They are great!

      Delete
  18. Wells, I used to love the Lifetime real crime stories! crap! Why oh WHY have they gone downhill so badly?! I thinks I hear Ma sniffling...☺ Anyhu, yeah, I heard what they had on this guy, and none of it made sense. then they LOST actual evidence, and still convicted the guy! Now, I thinks this guy is a ahole to the highest caliber, and should live alone on a desert island so he can't procreate, butts this conviction made no judicial sense! Well, I'm sure he's someones biatch in there, so maybe he'll learn the err of his ways...or not
    I gots to check out the Mazerunner..never saw them before!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, they didn't have anything but circumstantial evidence. And again, I can't believe he could have moved a body in the middle of the night and no one at a resort notice. I mean, when I go get ice at night in a hotel, there's always someone wandering around. If he was involved, I think he had some help.
      The joys of living in the US with the good old Constitution and Bill of Rights! Our justice system blows, but not THAT bad.
      Mazerunner is good! You should check it out! Much better than Hunger "Pains" and Divergent.

      Delete
  19. Just the title is torture. I don't know how you do it - but I'm glad you do! My son saw The Visit last weekend and liked it - but he's a teenage boy, so there you go.

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    1. Lol! It was badddddd.
      Ah well, to be young again! Haha

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  20. I actually watched about 2/3 of this movie Saturday and thought of you and Maddie all curled up on the sofa living through the same madness. Mercifully for me, Hubs does not under any circumstances, put up with Lifetime movies and he er...unfortunately, work up before it was over forcing me to google the end. :)
    BTW, you are so dang dead on about TMLPD officers and their looks at one another it isn't even a joke!

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    1. I know!! I kept laughing when they said "Mexico" it was just so damn campy!!
      Pretty soon you can come over and watch with me!! Haha bring wine!

      Delete
  21. I worked on this movie and found your write-up pretty entertaining! Interesting to see your reaction and that of your followers. In any event, it seems to stir up range of emotions, so I'll take that as a complement! I got a good laugh out of the detective stares, but I thought it actually worked! But then, I am a big fan of Eastwood movies. Unfortunately, I cannot refund the two hours of your life, but we can make you an honorary deputy of TMLPD. If you plan on addressing our next film in the same way, we can arrange an all-expense-paid trip to Cancun for you and your husband while you write it. Complete with poolside drinks.

    Sincerely,
    Hollywood-type

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    1. LOL! Yes! The TMLPD was infinitely better than the normal Lifetime P.D.!
      Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my recap. It truly is a compliment! :)
      Hope you know this is all in good fun! xxxooo

      Delete
  22. Mommy didn't watch it,but she watches all kinds of true life crime shows, so she is gonna check it out.

    Ziggy Out!!

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  23. Eh, doesn't sound like the movie is worth my time either.
    I want to see Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials but will probably wait until it comes out on DVD.
    I watched The Loft some time back, and really liked it.

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    1. Oh The Scorch Trials was great! If you decide to go to the movies, it's worth seeing! I actually liked it a little more than I did the first Mazerunner.
      xxoo

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  24. I love Lifetime movies, and around Christmas time it's the only channel I watch. Haha!

    God bless,
    Xo, Claire
    http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

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    Replies
    1. Same girl!! So glad to have you over here in my blog world!! Xxoo

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