It was not too long ago I discussed Lifetime Movie Network's recent delve into the movies that make you go "ewwwww" (see, Lifetime Movie Network Explores the Yuck Factor). Lifetime just could not leave well, Easter, alone and brought us the 3rd installment in V.C. Andrews adaptations of book to movie with If There Be Thorns.
Since I was a child of the 80s, I knew all about the V.C. Andrews books; so, of course, I was stoked to watch Lifetime's Flowers in the Attic and Petals on the Wind. I mean, I practically had to BEG my mother to let me read them. Thus, when I heard there would be an If There Be Thorns and Seeds of Yesterday, I was totally like:
On the other hand, my husband was none too thrilled.
Husband: What time does Thorns In My Ass come on?
Me: OOOOHHH!! You mean If There Be Thorns and it starts tonight! I'm so excited.
Husband: Great. *sarcastic voice*
Me: YESSSS. Once you watch one, you gotta watch them all. You're hooked.
Husband: Uh huh.
Anyhoo, this movie had all sorts of sleaze and "ew, wtf, omg" moments. To sum it up, Cathy and Chris, you know, brother and sister, are now living as a "married couple" with Cathy's two kids, Jory (he's the one she had with the ballerina dude) and Bart (he's the one she had with Corrine's man). Fairly quickly, they remind us that Cathy and Chris are still down with incest with a creepy sex scene. And Cathy's son Bart sees the whole thing go down. Plus, Bart is a total wackadoo, and low and behold Corrine shows up and moves in next door. She lures Bart into her web and he becomes even more of a wackadoodle, believing himself to be the reincarnation of his great grandfather Malcolm.
And there's an evil butler! He's taking everyone down for their sins!
AND Heather Graham's acting has gotten WORSE!
There was just SO much going on!
And my husband was all:
I thought it was better than Petals On the Wind.
Plus, I'm way excited there is another movie on Sunday night! Especially since A&E's Neighbors With Benefits got cancelled. That's right. Swinger Sundays are officially over.
I'd like to think my blog post had a little hand in that cancellation.
Let me know if you are watching Seeds of Yesterday Sunday night!
Grabbing my popcorn and wine, I'm still,