March 24, 2015

Come and Knock On Our Door, Swingers Waiting For You....

Oh, I think of all the things I thought about before I became a stay at home wife.
The law.
Eleven years of college, seven degrees, all that money spent on an education...

And today, I am talking about swingers.

Not just any swingers, the swingers on A&E's new show Neighbors With Benefits.

A&E's Neighbors With Benefits premiered Sunday night after its Emmy award winning show Intervention, which is actually a good show that has helped many people struggling with addiction.  Neighbors With Benefits, on the other hand, is just, well, according to my husband....


Meet Tony and Diana, the ringleaders of a local neighborhood swingers club.  If you are totally clueless as to what swinging is, in short, it's a sexual "lifestyle" where married couples exchange partners so they can experience sex with multiple partners.  Tony, who looks like a younger Jeremy Renner, except nowhere near as hot or as cool (because Renner is a freaking Avenger and that makes him a demi god, why OH why does the main swinger have to resemble an Avenger - OH THE HUMANITY and YOU ARE F**KING WITH MARVEL THIS TIME....#nerdrantover), was always a playboy according to his wife Diana.  So, what do you do to keep your playboy husband?  Take up swinging so that he can have sex with other women.

After all, swinging is the new "cool" thing to do.

The ringleaders are always looking for new recruits in the neighborhood and they hold "swingers parties" that looked to me like a bunch of middle age folks throwing a glorified frat party.  Oh and by the way, since the show aired, the neighborhood these people live in are none too thrilled with Tony, Diana and crew for making it look like their suburban bliss is nothing more than a scene from a Roman orgy.  You can read all about that here:  Neighbors Shocked After Viewing Neighbors With Benefits

Anyhoo, now, I am about to jump on my soapbox.

I find the swinging lifestyle to be completely disturbing and another example of our societal values gone to crap.  Prior to around 2010, I had never heard of this "swinger" lifestyle.  Then, I was given first hand knowledge of how it all worked when I handled a divorce case involving swinger couples who, surprise surprise, ruined each others marriages with their "off the books" swinger activities.  You see, the swingers code is they all participate together, but, human nature being as it is, occasionally, someone gets more interested in another person....and then the texting begins, the private meetings, and boom...divorce court.  I saw what happens and there were children involved.  It caused a lot of emotional heartache when all was said and done.  Interestingly enough, on the first episode of Neighbors With Benefits, one of the young couples began the earmarks of what my divorce clients went through.  The wife was texting (you know, in the sext kind of way) another swinging spouse behind her husband's back.  Of course, when the husband found out what his wife was doing, he was heartbroken, but he chose to stay because "after all, she's the mother of my children."

This is the problem with our society - we just are not happy unless we can have it all.  Selfish, greedy, spoiled....we cannot just have a hamburger, we have to have a double meat patty burger, we cannot just have one mascara and lipstick, we have to have a makeup collection, and we cannot just be with the one spouse we swore an oath to God or whatever diety that we would be faithful to until death.  We must have more than one.  I was actually told by someone in this lifestyle that "man was not meant to have sex with only one person for the rest of his/her life -men are animals and we should procreate with many."

Chalk this up as another reason I got out of the law practice.

Really?  Sure, UNCIVILIZED MAN felt this way.   But we are civilized.  We are supposed to have morals and values.  And, we are supposed to respect the institution of marriage, but being a divorce lawyer for ten years, I can tell you that people simply do not anymore.  To many people, divorce is like returning a pair of pants you did not like.  This is the very reason I waited so long to get married.  I wanted to make sure I was ready to commit to one person, for better or worse, for the rest of my life.  If you still feel the need to throw juvenile frat parties or look for other sexual partners, you should not be married.  And you damn sure should not be having children.


Let me know if you check this show out and if you have any opinions on this topic.

**UPDATE APRIL 9, 2014:  This show was cancelled by A&E.  I guess America was not ready for swingers either!  And my husband chimed in:

"I hope they know America hates them now."

***UPDATE FEBRUARY 22, 2016: Curious as to what life was like for the swingers after the show was cancelled? Read this article featuring Tony and Diana McCollister:

How Do Swingers Move On After Reality TV Exposure?

Apparently, life was not "swinging" after the show aired. I almost pity them, but really, what did you expect when you chose to air your sex life on national television?

And as always, until next time,


  1. I've heard of that show. The lifestyle is not for me. I'm watching a show on the same network tonight called Surviving Marriage or something like that. Seemed interesting.

    1. Total trash. It makes those Little People you watch look really sane...and classy.

  2. Holy crap. This is not only disgusting, but it's insanely STUPID for all of the reasons you mentioned. I like how the reporter on that video you link to called it "glorified cheating." That's basically all this is. I think civilians should have to go through that marriage counseling stuff before getting married like they make the military do. Maybe that would save some of these ridiculous and doomed to fail marriages from happening in the first place! Also I agree that the whole "man isn't meant to be monogamous" thing is total crap and I get so irritated when I hear people use that. Ughhh this society SUCKS 98% of the time.

    1. I know!! I totally agree on the marriage counseling thing. I wish more people would do that. I used to give seminars on that sort of thing free of charge for civilians. Very few showed up but the ones that did said it was helpful!

  3. Ewwwwww. On board with you. Swinging is morally bankrupt and disgusting. I can't believe there's even a show about it. But what about the fact that it was greenlighted, produced, and is watched? That speaks volumes about our culture, too...

    Just YUCK.

    1. I know!! Reality tv is just crap. I heard the camera crew was rolling B footage one day when kids were playing in the neighborhood. Thank god I don't live there; I would lose it!! Kids shown in this trashy tv show?? Ugggh

    2. Kids? That's just wrong. CPS should step in. Reality TV can bite it. )Except for Real Housewives of New York. That show is my JAM.)

    3. Beverly Hills Housewives here! Lol

  4. Thanks for reading my blog! Thought I'd swing by and check yours out. LOVE it! My friend is a pug Wife too ...she has 3 of 'em and loves them to pieces. You guys should start a Pug Club lol.

    1. Aw yay thank you!! And we worship our pugs. It's pretty ridiculous lol.


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